My Thoughts on E3 (Well, the first two days, at least)

Microsoft

I honestly didn't see the presser, but all I'm hearing about is "Project Natal". Check this out, fanboys:

That "Oh, it's better than the Wii because you don't need a controller" shit won't work.

1. The Playstation Eye does that same fucking thing.

2. Microsoft wouldn't have done this if the Wii wasn't so successful. Same thing with Sony, but I'll get to them later.

I'm not saying Natal isn't a good idea, just that acting like it's the most innovative thing since the Fleshlight is completely wrong.

I vowed that if Project Natal actually works well and is extra awesome like everyone pretends it will be, then I may spend my own money on a 360. That's because I know this motion-controlled interface theory isn't going to be that great. People thought the same thing with the Wii and now most of the people that own them don't even play them anymore.

I hear they announced Left 4 Dead 2 and Metal Gear Rising. Those are games I'll be looking out for, although I don't think MGR will be that great.

Nintendo

I don't even want to talk about their conference. Let me shorten it for you.

Super Mario Galaxy 2
Metroid: The Other M

That's the good shit. All I have to say to help you invision how terrible their presser was is "vitality sensor". Yes, a thing that monitors your pulse through your fucking finger.

Metroid: the Other M looks hot. I thought it was just a new Metroid Prime, but it's actually being created by Team Ninja and it's going to include third player elements. From what I saw of the trailer, I would be interested in purchasing if it wasn't on an unfortunate system.

You know what pissed me off? They talked about connecting the "casual gamers" and the "highly-skilled(see hardcore) gamers" and then mentioned the vitality sensor. I want to punch Iwata in his mouth.

I feel bad for Nintendo fanboys. It's like an abusive relationship. They mostly get treated like shit every E3, but Nintendo will throw in some "okay" shit.

Nintendo: "I know I've been treating you bad, but look, baby, look. . . Metroid The Other M! I promise I'll be better baby"
Poor bastard: "You said that last year. . . "
Nintendo: "Microsoft and Sony can't do for you what I do for you. You nothing without me."
Poor bastard: "I know"
Nintendo: "You better take that fucking Metroid and those two Marios and be happy. All the shit I've done for you"

Sony

Yeah, the one I was rooting for. They showed gameplay for MAG which I was not that impressed by. Uncharted 2 looks hot. Token action/adventure/platformer/shooter.

What I feel gave Sony the edge over the other two was the Final Fantasy XIV surprise, for one. First off, I do not want it. Final Fantasy XI was an online Final Fantasy and I'm not hearing good things about it. However, this was because it was released when the PS2 tried to go 0-online in seven seconds. Hopefully in this age where everyone is online it may do better.

Second was the showing of GT5 on PSP/PS3. No, I'm not buying it because doing a 300 lap race doesn't exactly give me a boner, but everyone else does.

They showed their answer to the Wii and Natal which was basically their own little motion-sensing project. First off, this edged off Natal because there was an actual demo. Surely fanboys are going to argue about what's better and completely oust the Wii, being that their sales have lapped Sony and Microsoft twice. While the demo is impressive, I'm not quite sold. The Playstation Eye got no love whatsoever after Eye of Judgment went stale, so I don't know if I should waste my money on another peripheral that copies another game system.

Nothing else really worth talking about for Sony.



As far as consoles are concerd, you know who won? The gaming public. Well, not Nintendo's. I feel sorry for them.

Why I Don't Take Nintendo Seriously Now

My girlfriend was actually thinking about buying me this, to which I laughed in her face, but I was serious. Even if I know I wouldn't look half as stupid as these "High School Musical" loving teenagers, just no. Besides, I'm a Rock Band man now. I must admit, though, that I'm impressed at how they got it to work on the DS. Is there any video game system that can make a genuinely good ad campaign? Let's look at it like this:

Xbox 360 ad campaign: Non-existant. They pretty much either let their games talk for them or I don't notice because, you know, I don't fuck with Microsoft like that.

PS3 ad campaign: They're like that artistic guy that takes pictures of himself nude with tape across his mouth that say "censorship" and other dumb crap like that. He believes what he does is art, but it's usually pretty fucking stupid. That's how PS3 ads are. I might've seen maybe two PS3 ads I like, but after that "thenis" ad, I really quit caring.

Nintendo Wii ad campaign: If I see some Japanese dude walk up to a door to say "We rike to pray" one more time, followed by some suburban family smiling too hard while they wave two shiny phallic shaped controllers, I'm going to stab my brother right in his arm. We really don't need to see how to play the Wii for the five billionth time.

PSP ad campaign: They might have found something with this "Get your own" thing. It's better than the racial stereotype dust bunnies and squirrels. Or the black people and white people fighting.

DS ad campaign: Same as the Wii without the Asian men.

Bunch of Sick Fucks

Some douchebags decided to test the toughness of the PSP. This video is not for the squeamish, and why any sick bastards would even think about doing this to a defenseless psp is beyond me.


www.brokenreview.com - PSP - Extreme testing from Broken Review on Vimeo.

Sick fucks.

Best PSP Game in the World

Beats. I love the hell out of this game. It's a rhythm game that uses any mp3 that you have on your Playstation Portable. If you have a psp, you need to go here and download that.