*S.A.F.O. (or **GTFOHWTS)

So, right, I have this co-worker and shit and this motherfucker is starting to pluck my nerves. The dude, he's like, in his late 30's and all he talks about is fucking wrestling and unfunny jokes. This isn't why he's getting on my nerves, but I'll get to that. He also smells like pissy cardboard, but that's neither here nor there.

Now, when I first started working at (insert company name here) a co-worker who works in automotive tells me "Watch out for (insert annoying motherfucker's name here). He's a snitch." I took heed, of course, but I didn't know the depth of his tattle-tale ways at that point. Let's fast forward to recently.

Now, my manager talks to me focusing more on work and blah blah dick fuck marshmallow ass and I'm like "Cool, whatever. Let's work." At this point, I'm making even more of an effort at my job to look like a "good worker". Unfortunately, the following Sunday, I have to work with old snitchbitch. I spent about twenty minutes outside of my work area trying to get a rack for us to hang clothes on and this nigga pages me over the intercom system like three times. I, personally, have a beef with being treated like a kid, so I ignored him and came back when I was finish. The day goes pretty normal until Monday afternoon.

So I come in and there's a note on the MPU board for me saying what I'm supposed to do and shit when I notice that our lead put something at the bottom. It said something like "Eric has a lot of work to do in the back, being that he didn't do any work on Sunday". First off, that's hogwash because I spent at least 80 percent of my day opening boxes and shit. Second, I know that snitchbitch told her this lie because she doesn't work weekends.

In response, I decided to write a little note of my own, scratching out that bullshit and writing "This is complete and utter tripe. I was, in fact, in the back doing work, despite what (SnitchyMcLiarface) may have claimed." I also noticed that on our board that we have to check off to show what we did, this nigga checked off all of his shit and then wrote in mine "Was on sales floor, not in MPU". Of course, I'm pissed now. If I wasn't actually doing work, I wouldn't care as much, but when I actually put in work and someone starts discrediting me, I don't like that shit. So I then wrote "What is this trash? I would like to see the footage of me on the floor not doing work because this is news to me. I feel that a man in his late 30's making unfounded claims is very immature and offensive." I did actually write that, I didn't edit this shit to make myself sound like a rebel.

I left that up there for our lead to see and I guess she read it. I also found out that (Sir Snitchalot) doesn't trust me with the keys that I need to unlock the TV cage. Now, I need these keys so I can get the shit out in the five minutes that we have to get it without giving up a coupon. Every time this fucker goes on lunch or leaves, he's all "I'm gonna put these keys in the office" knowing damn well I need them. Now, rules are that anyone can carry the keys, as long as they sign them out. I found out from another worker that apparently this fucker doesn't trust me. Now, I could say because I'm black. I will say that shit.

I used to be all nice to this dude because he was weird and standing up for him when everyone said he was retarded, but now my sympathy is dwindling. Can you believe this stool pigeon tried to give me a fist bump the Friday after he tried to get me in trouble? The audacity.

I have insisted that I'm going to start treating him like a bitch, since that's what works for him. I mean, everyone treats him like a fuckboy. The manager, our lead, our co-workers, everyone. I don't know if my lead is angry at me for being a "smart-ass" or whatever, but I think she's trying to put me on fuckboy status, too, which I don't approve of. See, my availability is 10 am until 3 p.m. on Saturdays. Now they're trying to make me come in earlier. Like, 8 am early tomorrow.

LOL

*S.A.F.O. = Suck a fat one

**GTFOHWTS = Get the fuck outta here with that shit

Oh, Seriously, What the Fuck, Man

Excuse me, I'm infuriated right now. My girlfriend told me earlier about this whole hoax about a girl who had a B carved in her face by a big black man and it turns out she was lying. Well, I didn't even know what the fuck she was talking about since I was out of the house since 11:30. I get in the house and go straight to Fiyah Muzik because I know he would have that shit on there and it was right there on the front page.

Apparently, some little chick from Texas went to the police this morning saying a black guy over 6 feet tall robbed her and then saw she supported McCain and whooped her ass. During said ass whooping, he then proceeded to take something sharp and carve a B into her face. I know, weird right? It gets worse.

Once the whole thing hits the media(It just happened this morning), McCain's camp claims that the B stood for Barack. Funny thing is the B is backwards. The police were already skeptical about this little cunt, and guess what? She was lying! Holy shit!

I'm not really surprised by this shit. At this point, I surmised that the only people that could really still support McCain at this point are:

A) Racists
B) Hardcore Republicans
C) Dipshits
D) Racist Hardcore Republican Dipshits

Apparently, she was D. To stoop so low as to attempt to sling some shit on Obama's name is quite disgusting. I do, however, applaud her "ditch effort" to try to help McCain look good with less than two weeks until Election Day. To bad she didn't do a better job of looking like a battered victim by, for one, drawing a correct "B" on her face.

I can't even be but so angry about this shit. This just makes McCain and his camp look worse than they already do. Bad enough Palin was talking about freezing funds to research cures for Autism(which my 10 year old brother has, by the way), but then this comes along.

There's no possible way that McCain could win this fair and square. None. At All. If he wins, America loses. . . credibility.

The whole Nerd/poseur movement

I write a little series of blogs on myspace called "Shit I hate" because I'm angry person. And shit. I decided to post this one anecdote from one I did recently because this shit seriously still infuriates me.

"I'm becoming infuriated with this "cool nerd" shit. For real. You can't be "cool" and a nerd at the same time. Like, three years ago, I finally realize I'm a fucking nerd. I came out of the "nerd closet", if you will. I went to Otakon and enjoyed it (I didn't cosplay though. That's waaaaaaaay to geeky for me). I stay on the internet on websites besides myspace. People used to cheat off of me in high school. I continuously use SAT words in my everyday vocabulary. I'm a nerd. Not a geek. Not a dork. A nerd. So why come soon as I realize how nerdy I am, everybody starts wearing polos and glasses talking about, "I'm a nerd, too"? This is pre-goddamn-posterous. There is no such thing as a cool nerd. Lupe Fiasco. That nigga's a nerd. He loves manga and have you ever heard this nigga when he's geeking? He's a fucking nerd. Pharrell? This nigga says drug dealers could've been chemists. No one really makes that comparison. Yet, they seem to be the archetype for nerd that poser niggas's build off of. Look, bottom line is: If you don't remember Yu Yu Hakusho, you don't read books, and you can't tell software from hardware, then maybe you should reevaluate yourself. You fucking poser."