Proof That I Do Anything For the People That Read My Blog

I've been wondering "Hey, what's so great about this Tiny & Toya show?" so I decided to watch the preview on youtube and commentate on what exactly is going on.

*sigh*



0:15 - Wait, Toya is "not over Wayne"? What is so great about this nigga? He looks like a frog's thigh and he's gotten like thirteen other broads pregnant. I must meet this guy. His personality must be super radiant.

0:20 - I can already tell I'm not going to like Tiny. Her voice is like eating a handful of wasabi. If you've ever had wasabi, then you know that shit is fatal.

0:29 - No, she doesn't need to sing. I don't even remember her ever singing when she was with Xscape. Lawl, Xscape. They're so irrelevant now.

0:35 - Wait, she's not over Lil Wayne, but she's telling her own mother she needs to get her shit together? Sounds like she has a bad case of bossy hypocrite.

0:49 - "You get back wit ma daddy Imma get back wit Wayne". Yo, I can see this show is going to be pathetic. I feel like I'm going to vomit out of my lungs.

1:13 - I don't get how Tiny's voice sounds better on the voice-overs. Maybe seeing her unattractive face move with the words make it worse.

1:21 - I swear on my life, if BET didn't give this scummycoochie a show, I would not have known she had Lil Wayne's kid.

1:27 - Where'd she get a lot of love and fame from? I don't know that bitch! At least they mention Tiny in the media every now and again. Lil Wayne goes through broads like cereal, so I didn't know anyone existed before Nivea.

2:36 - Wait, Tiny wrote "No Scrubs"? Wow. Wow.

4:24 - This Toya chick has it bad. She is way too hot to still be stressing over Dwayne Carter, who has since moved on and got around twenty women pregnant.

4:43 - Tiny is so buckethead it's insane.

5:00 - Geeking off of the knock-off version of the "Flipside" beat they are playing right now.

5:12 - Wow, Lil Wayne's mother is on here, too? I'm not surprised because your bond is stronger with a chick your son had his first child with rather than, say Lauren London. I've never liked Lauren London for some reason.

7:06 - Yo, they are country as shit. I swear while I was listening to Toya talk, one of my eyes went lazy.

7:43 - Toya's daughter speaks better than her. I don't know if that hurts my heart or makes me happier for the child.

8:35 - Tiny's voice. . .

9:33 - "Peesh" Instead of saying "peace", Tiny says "peesh". Is she doing that shit on purpose?


I'm not. . . I refuse to watch the second part right now. Just for suffering through this shit for you people, I give you this:




Sleep well.

This must be the opposite of knowing how to fight.

0:03 - Head kick fail.

0:05 - Oh, shit! He went for the fake out.

0:07 - 0:10 - Did this nigga just do some "Ka-razy" to confuse him and then try to hit him with a surprise back kick?

0:11 - Wow, he almost got Briana Latrise'd. I don't like how that felt to type. I think it's getting old already.

0:14 - The guy with the plethora of hair almost caught him again.

0:18 - Man, the dude in the tight jeans is making the guy in the black look like Mirko Cro Cop the way he going for those kicks.

0:24 - I guess he's picking up his dignity after that "Ka-razy" demonstration didn't work.

0:33 - Did anyone give him the memo that you can't talk people out of a fight after they already tried to decapitate you?

0:42 - Oh, yeah, try to kick him in the berries. That's hella manly.

That looked like some shit off of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Thanks a lot Play Cloths blog guy.

Beat a Bus Driver

Okay, so the bus driver story:

So, me and Jasmine were getting off of the lightrail and we were coming up the street. There were two buses at a red light and the bus we were supposed to get in was behind the first one. I walk up to the bus and the nigga driving the bus looks straight at me for three seconds and then pulls off when the light turns green, passing Jasmine, too. I'm like "Oh, shit, word?" It could have ended there, but unfortunately for that bitch I'm a fucking man.

So I ran up the street to the bus where it was stopped at another red light and people were getting on the bus. I purposefully made myself to last one to get on and when it was my turn, I held the doors open. I saw the surprise in his face and he knew he was in for trouble that he could have avoided if he wasn't a fucking whore. The conversation goes something like this:

Me: Can you wait a few seconds for my pregnant girlfriend to come up the street?
Pussy Ass Fuck Nigga: No, I run on a tight schedule.
Me: My girlfriend is pregnant. We need to catch this bus.
PAFN: Another bus will come in 10 minutes, sir. I need you to move from between the doors.
Me: 10 minutes!? Yo, I just want my girlfriend to make this bus.
PAFN: These people would be upset if they have to wait.
Me: (Looking at all the people on the bus) Would you mind waiting a little more for my pregnant girlfriend to get to the bus?
Everyone: (Shakes head no)
Me: See! They don't care.
PAFN: (Looking away from me) If I miss this light. . . (light turns red and he sucks his teeth like a bitch)

At this point, Jasmine gets on the bus. Jasmine asks me what happened and I told her "This nigga was acting like a fucking bitch." Jasmine replies "Don't say that so loud" and I said "Fuck him. As I was saying, he was whining like a female. . ." This fagamuffin then proceeds to get out of the driver seat and I was so deafened by fury that all I heard was "BLAH BLAH BLAH running your fucking mouth BLAH"

Now, I could've jumped up and turned into Rampage Jackson, but I thought about it:

1. If I fought this nigga on the bus, I would undoubtedly be arrested. What good would that do for my child and woman?
2. The people that just so graciously said they wouldn't mind waiting for my girlfriend would be lacking a bus driver because I was gonna knock this nigga's eye out of his face.
3. That would defeat the purpose of me running up the fucking street to catch it.

So I said "For the sake of her(pointing to Jasmine) and my child, I'm gonna leave it alone." We then had a quiet bus ride although this asshole drove recklessly and ran a red light and me and Jasmine got home.

The following morning, I filed a complaint because I feel like such an asshole doesn't deserve a job where he interacts with human beings. Call it snitching if you want, suck a fat one. I told the woman the whole story and she says that me holding the door on his bus was disrespectful. She decided to battle my argument with a horrible analogy stating "You holding his bus door was like if someone tried to come in your house when you told them no". I stated that my house isn't a "service to the community". This cunt also said "If the argument was that bad, why didn't he pull off". It seems she was suggesting that he should've drove off instead of waiting for my girlfriend, which also pissed me off. She says she wasn't taking his side, but I should take his emotions into consideration. As far as I'm concerned, that motherfucker doesn't have emotions. He's less than an animal to me.

I pray that he sees me on the street and remembers me and decides that he wants to think he's Jesus again, because I won't have to be so considerate to witnesses at that point. Unless Jasmine's with me.

Display Pictures That Make Me SMH and/or LOL

ρяєтту туєღ |.вad вιтcн.|т.σ.є.♀



Because putting "SINGLE" in big ugly letters on a picture is totally going to get you some dick.




♥Fuck It!!!!!™



But on the other hand, nothing gets penises pointing in your direction like the "drunken whore" swag.

I'd beat, though.

meco



You couldn't possibly fathom how hard I laughed when I saw this. When quitting masturbation is such a great accomplishment that you have to wear a shirt saying you don't do it anymore in public, you need to evaluate where you're going with your life.

Masturbating is awesome.

Onyx.™.Love Knock Down.



If that Louis Vuitton bandana is real, my fruit of the loom underclothes are fake.


•com .



This is offensive to Mexicans. She has on a sombrero and she drew a moustache on her face. She's a racist.


MRS.SMALLS BITCHES!!








long hair thick redbone♥



Not only did she use demotivators incorrectly, but she made it into a Wanted poster. I just want to kick her in the pussy.


TaTtOoEd Up WiN i TaKe OfF mY sHiRt



Wow, this nigga is an asshead. He got the star Lil Wayne's boyfriend Baby has tattooed on his chest, along with angel wings that have feathers that look like shards of glass. He also has the Famous Stars & Straps logo tattooed on both sides of his chest.

I can't wait until he hits the point where he realizes he failed as a black man.

{~haters just kno i keep dem goons around mii when



First off, these custom BAPE cartoons went out of style when I graduated from high school. Second off, he's supposed to be a crip. There's nothing that says "intimidating gangbanger" like an adorable cartoon that looks like it was drawn by an eight year old.



You see how much I must suffer to entertain you people.

All Homo

This is the gayest thing I've come across in a long time.

- Apparently these niggas buy their pants from Forever 21

- They're dancing (If you can call that shit that) to a song called "You're a jerk"

- If Steve Urkel was dancing. . . and he suffered from brain damage recently. . . and was doing a mating dance looking for a man. . . this is what it would look like.

Display Names That Make Me LOL II

1. ♥SIMONE is FANCY {ILLEGAL}- I have no idea what this means.

2. {A.N.T} She Is A Tiger [Rated R] - I hope he's not talking about his sex partner, because last I heard, bestiality is illegal in Maryland. Plus tigers will kill you.

3. HE TELLS ME I'M ADORABLE - He probably tells everyone that when they give him blowjobs.

4. Jason's Official MySpace - It's funny because he's not famous.

5. {WoOoW3rz} Th3s3z ChAiNz..... - . . . Still don't know what this shit means.

6. (T@hti@na@>:Miss Congeniality - I bet if Firefox didn't have auto-spell check, congeniality would've been spelled wrong. She still doesn't know what it means, though.

7. U will be cut off just watch but i still luv ya - Talk about bipolar.

8. khaki♥ - "She look like a pair of khakis" - Terrell

9. D∀t By₮cH is ∀ JOK∋ 2 Ｍe - How do these kids get past 6th grade?

10. NEW ME AND IM LOVEING IT TO THE FULLIST - It's sad because unlike these other dolts, he probably thought he was spelling this shit right.

11. Swaganair - I just wanna punch this nigga for that name.

12. page under construction - If it takes you so long to fix your myspace that you have to put "under construction", then you probably shouldn't have one in the first place.

13. "IM A HUGE ROCK FAN GET OVER IT" - This nigga like 6 years late since hella black people openly listen to rock music now. He might as well have just said "I'M A TOTAL FUCKING POSER GET OVER IT"

14. ღDouqalss Badmitton Record 9-1ღ - I can't talk because I wrestled, but who gives a fuck about Badminton? And how do you play a sport and not know how to spell it?

15. wishin mii man was true 2 mii - Then why don't you leave him, you dumb skeezer?

16. NO BITCH AINT GOT SHIT ON ME!!! - That's a double negative. So you saying that there are bitches that "got shit" on you. That's disgusting.

17. LIL WOODY ALL DAY - Pause.

18. I Graduated But Aint Nothing Change Im The Same! - And that's why you're going to end up with a bad job.

19. WHERE IS HE :( - Not with you.

20. { &ND TRUTH IZ I DONT WANT 2 LOST HIM}} - Wow. That spelling error was so bad I'm not even going to get on her. I just feel bad for her whole existence.

21. I KNOW U LOOKIN @ MY PAGE THINKIN DAMN I MISS HER! - Teenage girls are so naive it makes my life ache.

22. мяs.ρєяƒєcŧ|.o°•chєckk.мє.out!•°o< - Kill yourself in the most vicious way possible.

23. *In Love with my imagination* - and that's why you'll die a virgin.

24. ╔╝╚╗⌠¬.¬⌡╔╝╚╗ - Fuck you and your future.

25. sexy gril - It's sad that I'm only 20 and I'm already complaining about how dumb kids are.

26. FUCK DEY DO DAT AT? BITCH - You get the Nigger of the Week award for this one.

27. ~YO Y MIS NINAS NO NECESITAN NINGUN NIGGA~ - Me and my girls don't need something. I don't know, my Spanish is rusty. What I do know is that teaching these ignorant children new ways to say dumb shit is why they're closing down Baltimore high schools.

28. HeSs BaCkK[♥ Uu MikE]AnDd GoIng 2 StaY 4 A WhiLE - Notice how she said he's back and going to stay for a while? She's basically admitting he's going to leave her again.

29. SIN(SEXY INTELLIGENT NICE) - I wonder what goes through their heads when they make this shit up and type it.

30. {~haters just kno i keep dem goons around mii when - Wait, for the finale, I need to post this dude's headline.

"yall dam ass ass niggas need to stop hate on a nigga in a damn life to live cuz nigga yu hate cuz yu cant live mines dats why yu hate damn man get on my level get on some grown man shit like mii !!!!"

It is my personal opinion that when men keep whining about haters, they come off feminine to me. I understand women whining about haters because chicks be mad at each other over silly shit, but dudes? Either shut up or off yourself.

I need to do a "display pictures that make me LOL". I've seen some funny shit.

Another Really Bad Song - The Same Dude

*sigh* Here we go:

0:20 - What the fuck just happened?

0:30 - I'm sorry, the cheesiness of the video took me by surprise.

0:33 - From the various shots of the dance floor, I see they used the **"brown paper bag" test when choosing women to be in the video.

0:42 - Oh, God, what is he doing?

0:46 - I wonder if anyone told him that those women lack ass.

0:50 - No. They don't expect me to believe that woman is his mother. She has to be at least 2/3 his age.

0:51 - Lawl @ his snow bunny hiding behind the door.

0:56 - Yo, they look like the Sims the way they are arguing. I also realized his "mom" is fresher than him. Fail.

1:04 - Whoa. She came out of nowhere looking like she came from The Matrix.

1:11 - That's some terrible popping and locking. Who has popping and locking in their videos anymore?

1:15 - I knew he couldn't go an entire video without doing some blatantly terrible dance moves.

1:29 - Who are these niggas? Is that his "mom" over there?

1:40 - From attempting to understand what the hell he's saying, I think the song is about his mom's disapproval of his rabid lust for white vagina.

1:45 - It's like they tried their best to find the lamest looking white dudes in the world. Can't have anyone looking cooler than raisin face.

1:48 - What is this broad doing?

1:54 - Is that Asher Roth?

1:58 - I know people beat him up in school. If they didn't, then they should have.

2:06 - I don't like that guy.

2:10 - Oh, shit, she's singing, too.

2:17 - He doesn't even have to dance. Just moving around makes him look like a damn buffoon.

2:30 - . . . What. . .

2:35 - Why does he have his hoodie off of his shoulders like that's what's hot in the streets? This video is like a montage of shit that was cool in the late 90s.

2:44 - He fails at singing and rapping and he's dark as all hell. He's like the anti-Drake.

2:50 - "Far from a gangster" I believe he's far from a lot of things, gangster being one of the more obvious, of course.

3:00 - He finally stopped rapping. That shit was brutal.

3:09 - Wow, that little move they did was so lame and prepubescent.

3:19 - Ew, she touched his face.

3:20 - Ah, shit, he's dancing with the dancers now.

3:27 - Who did that camera work and editing for this video? He/she must have down syndrome.

3:43 - Did that dame have a unibrow?

3:53 - Ha! Yo bucked at the girl. That was funny.

3:59 - Mmm, worthwhile buttcheeks.

4:02 - Oh, come on, what do these niggas have to do with anything?

4:13 - What the fuck is he doing behind her?

4:16 - Is that his mom stopping the. . . intimidating guys? I'm so confused.

I hope this dude makes another Treasure in You. This was just confusing and had less terrible dancing.

** The brown paper bag test is when you compare the darkness of one's skin to a paper bag. If they are as dark or darker than the bag, then they fail. Yung Berg is one of the more popular users of this test.

A Really Bad Song - Some African Guy(No racism)

Let's list the things wrong with this God-forsaken video:

0:10 - What the fuck was that move he just did?

0:17 - Not only did that scare the shit out of me the first three times I heard it, but that dance move he just did has got to be one of the most hilarious body movements I've ever seen. Yo, that was a black woman that sang and they didn't even show her whole face. You'll see why this is fucked up later.

0:18 - He looks like a California raisin. No, seriously, he's so black he's fucking purple.

0:19 - That was gay.

0:38 - He's done so many terrible dance moves up to this point I couldn't possibly take the arduous task of making fun of each one. This chick he's after, her face have to many sharp angles. Less than 90 degrees.

0:45 - Did he just drug her?

0:50 - Oh, yeah an extremely black man putting a coat over a passed out white woman in a bar. That's the exact opposite of suspicious.

1:00 - He really just looked retarded when he did that.

1:11 - Like, dead ass, who told this man he could dance?

1:13 - Now he's just sitting next to her. I'm pretty sure someone would've called the cops by now.

0:17 - I just had to go back to that. That was fucking hilarious.

1:18 - I think his hairline is allergic to his eyebrows. That would explain his "fivehead".

1:19 - Wait. Wait a MOTHERFUCKING MINUTE. Those are nothing but white women. I'm not saying a black guy shouldn't have a preference for pink nipples, but you can't be that black and only have Caucasian women in your video. That's against some sort of unwritten rule.

1:23 - I like how they all ran like "Bitch, you on your own".

1:30 - SCARY RAPIST FACE D:

1:36 - I really wish he would stop dancing. He's ruining my life.

1:55 - I wonder if his friends were watching him dance just going "Pause. Pause. Pause. . ."

1:58 - That's the ugliest fucking spin I've ever seen.

2:05 - I'm going to assume she's running from Flava Flav.

2:06 - Come on, now. Jaguar's haven't been balling since 1998.

2:16 - He's way too pissed off.

2:33 - I think he has cerebral palsy.

2:36 - Who are these dancing motherfuckers and what do they have to do with Treasure and date rape?

3:10 - Someone, anyone, needs to just make a compilation of all his dance moves. I'd pay for that.

3:34-3:38 - I try to ignore him, I do, but then he does some horrific moves that make me laugh.

3:48 - Note to video directors: Women sitting there looking bored? Doesn't make me horny.

3:57 - You hear that shit? What the fuck WAS THAT?

4:10 - This dude's falsetto makes me want to stab someone.

4:16 - If a white person was talking about how much they hate black people and how bad we are for the world and they presented this as evidence, even Obama couldn't combat that.

4:28 - You expect me to believe that she wants this guy? Like, that illusion defies logic to the point that it goes past not making sense and makes sense again.


Good news (for you). He has another terrible video and I swear I'm posting that one, too. With commentary.

My mom was offended by the lack of Nubian queens.