"No one is scared of 50 Cent"

- This school/work/father shit is tiring. I mean, it's partially my fault I don't get a lot of sleep, but, b, I only get approximately three and a half hours to myself at night.

- It's this African couple in my human geography class. Homeboy girl keep giving me the sneaky eyes and dude be stale-facing me like it's my fault. I don't know if she said something or he caught her, but every time I check his broad out, he staring at me.

- I don't wanna fight over some slore I don't know at UMBC.

-

- Now, I stopped buying Complex magazine for a while due to the incessant immature gay jokes and and the fact that it's owned by Marc Ecko, who's clothing line isn't even relevant anymore, but the fact that Clipse is on the cover might persuade me to purchase this one.

-

- I would really like to own this soon. Mark this down for possible future purchase.

- I want to complain about a co-worker, but I'll save that for another blog post.

- I don't know if I'm just crazy, but there has been a recent influx of open gayness in Baltimore. I can't remember the last time I caught a bus without a member of the LGBT community on it.

- Don't think that there is anything wrong with that, but imagine if all of a sudden you started seeing Asian people everywhere.

- Exactly.

- I'm going to a party Friday. Might take pictures. Might not.

- Might be super drunk.

- (401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

- like that up there.

- (570): "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
(609): Haha how much did you smoke
(570): 4 feet of smokeee!

- or like that up there.

Maybe Because My Talent Got Em Feeling So Inadequate

-

- That's the Jeezy loving skank that Illseed is promoting. I'll let you form your own opinions, but I'm just going to say I wouldn't have posted the picture if I thought she was pretty.

- I'm not saying people shouldn't listen to Young Jeezy, I mean, shit, I listen to some Jeezy from time to time. However, saying that Jeezy is one of the nicest rappers rapping? How would you feel if somebody walked up to you like "You know who's a great fucking actor? Nicholas Cage" or "You know what team is going to go to the Super Bowl this year? The Kansas City Chiefs".

- Yo, what's this about Omarion getting dropped from Cash Money already? That was fast.

- I'm mad that people in Cash Money are acting like signing Bow Wow is a big deal. Check this out, Bow Wow's fall off took a drastic increase in speed after "Let Me Hold You", when he had beads in his hair. Bow Wow is tired now. People can say that at least people are talking about it, but let's be honest, no one's gonna care when his album comes out.

- That "Forever" song? Didn't really care for it. I mean, I like the whole "supertracks" where four popular rappers get on a track and shit, but now they're just becoming overhyped. Especially if it features Kanye or Lil Wayne.

- Why did my job get dehumidified? They had big ass generators outside sucking out the "moist" air and pushing hot air into the building because there was some mold downstairs allegedly.

- Now how the fuck did this get done so fast, but we still don't have working air?

- Oh, because some corporate higher-up said that "air conditioning is a luxury".

- Dick's Sporting Goods has air conditioning. Wegman's has fucking air conditioning. Motherfucking CHIPOTLE HAS AIR CONDITIONING.

- Sears Hunt Valley in Cockeysville, Maryland is petty.

- Yeah, I said it.

I'm a Fucking Animal with the Verbs and Nouns

-

- I've been looking for that song for like two months.

- Well, looking means trying to remember the rest of the song by thinking of the chorus over and over again.

- I'm reading a new nigga novel called "Dogism".

- I thought that after reading "The Cake Man" (which is possibly the worst nigga novel ever written), this shit would be like Catcher in the Rye or some shit.

- It's not.

- Yo, it's hot as shit up my job. These douchebags claim that the air conditioning isn't working. I think they just aren't turning it on to save money. Maybe four days out of this entire summer the air conditioner worked.

- Sweaty MILFS are hot.

- This slutbucket on Allhiphop called "Miss Mouth" (slut name) said that Young Jeezy is the greatest rapper alive.

- I honestly believe people deserve to die for comments like that.

- Saying some shit like Young Jeezy or Lil Boosie are great rappers and shit is seriously considered a stupid and friendship-ending comment.

- Now I'm just listening to Anita Baker on youtube.

- Anita Baker is awesome.

-


- What, you thought he was gone?

Lazyness

First off, my son freaks me out.

What normal babies do when you put a bottle on their lips: Open their mouths and drink milk.

What my son does when you put a bottle to his lips: Ravenously attacks the bottle until he feels that it's weak enough for him to prey upon it.

What normal babies do when they spit out milk: Sit there and wait for you to wipe it off.

What my son does when he spits out milk: Proceeds to smear it all over his face.

He might be a reincarnated wolf. Werewolf maybe.

I also saw on Illseed's website (Allhiphop)that someone, since The Game is acting like a forgetful bitch, decided to find all of the instances where The Game shouts out/mentions Jay-Z. I will proceed to copy and paste all 70-something of these Jay-Z mentions.



1. "No beef with Jay" "one blood"

2. "Got a hook from Faith, no verse from Jay

I guess on Westside Story he thought I spit in his face" "Westside Story"

3. "Dre told me he ain't doin "Detox," this his only run

Ma$e comin back, and Hovi done" "No more fun and games"

4 "It's "Me & My Girlfriend" like 2Pac and them

Jay-Z and Beyonce, or Bobby and Whitney "Special"

5. "Rap critics politickin, wanna know the outcome

"Ready to Die" "Reasonable Doubt" and "Doggystyle" in one "Dreams"

6. "Make the club R.O.C. without Timberland boots "Higher"

7."I was gassed up, Murder Inc., Roc-A-Fella passed up"

8. "It took me a little while but I am now understandin

Jay ****ed up in the first round when he picked olowankandi" "Memp Bleek Iz"

9. "Oh, that boy colder than Hova unless he sober" "300 Bars"

10. "And ain't nobody tryin to take Beyonce from Jay

But I know a ***** named Superhead he ****ed back in the day" Wouldnt Get Far"

11."Took you to award shows, there go Jay right there"

"One Night"

12."Bangin "The Black Album," track #1

she like that Jay ****, that's her favorite'' "Around The World"

13. "Behind the back to Nas he alley oop to Jigga" "Why U hate The Game"

14. "Niqqas show me love in the hood like i was HOV down Flushing" "State Yo Name"

15. "The day Jay retire I'ma park next to the throne, in a Maybach on gold wires, yeah "Hands On The Pump"

16. "Cuz he know Jay-Z departed

And these other rap labels know don't feed they artists

Talkin blueprint **** you got three garages

Gettin money off Roc like little E and carter"

17. "And 2Pac was in jail the day you called to hit him up

I wouldn't be outside 40/40 bumpin 'Jigga What'"

18."I'm the king, and you better respect it

All I need is Beyonce, and a Roc-a-fella necklace"

19. "I'm the golden boy, and I'm making Hova noise

Got the whole world clapping, just like the Nolia Boys"

20. "I told 'em bomp, slow down baby

Got to get this **** firm like Foxy, NaS and AZ

She said '**** you,pay me

So I left her in AZ

That's what I get for letting her listen to my Jay-Z"

21. "*****, I'm number one, motherfukka bar none

Who else kick knowlegde outside of Hova and the God Son"

22. "U gon make me/ make Jay lose his cool" "Feel It In The Air"

23. "Too much West coast dikc lickn, remember Jay-Z? "1-800-Homicide"

24. "No Em, no Dre, I'm the hottest since Jay" "Get Up"

25. "Cause I'm the man behind the Roc like Kanye West"

26."A pimp like 50, the niqqa to leave you broke ma

6 in the mornin, you stretchin on the sofa

singin ain't no niqqa like Foxy Brown and Hova" "Compton to Fillmoe"

27. "I'm runnin the ROC, not Jay, Dame Dash of Hoffa" "Jackin 4 Beats"

28. "Who the fuk holdin me? i was just waitin 'til HOVA leave

wit my eyes on the thrown that belong to me" "Round Here Freestyle"

29. "yeah its me and young cass til hov come back" "Aim Ya Gunz"

30. "Throw Jay-z in the pot, mix em with ren

or O.J on the rocks, mix em with gin

whatchu got? the westcoast riding again" "82 Days"

31. "i found out it was a hard knock life without asking Jay" "Duck Down"

32. "Fake king of new york, U aint Jay z" "soundscan"

33. "Me, Em and 50 racin' this rap siht is basic I followed that Jay siht" "We Aint"

34. "The kings comin', no I'm not Jay-Z" "One Blood Remix"

35. "Not the rap martyr, or the second rap Carter" "for My gangstaz"

36. "niqqa I'm about a dollar, what the fuk is 50 Cent?

When Jay said it, I didn't know what it meant" "100 Bars"

37. "used to push that rock like Jay Hov" "Red Bandana"

38. "then this marcy-project niqqa came and stole the crown" "Im a soldier"

39. "But Kanye and Hova killed it without a doubt" "Just a lil Bit freestyle"

40. "Who had the hottest chick in the game, wearin they chain

Mr. H to the Izzo, Nas and Hurricane" "too Much"

41. " cuz ain't nobody movin units but Jay, pimp Juice and Us" - Down 4 my *****s freestyle

43. "I used to have visions of retiring like Jigga" "Du Rags

44. "He in a vest with a hoodrat from Marcy with a tattoo of Jay-Z name on her chest" "Its So Hard"

45. "Im classic like Detox & Blueprint 2" "Get Yo Money"

46."Yall thought it was over when Hova retired" "Get Yo Money"

47. "Make the world feel like the niqqas before 2pac Shakur Christopher Wallace & Shawn Corey" "Dont Push Me..."

48. "... He aint teach Jigga how to rhyme" "Juice freestyle"

49. "Im going to same place Jay-z went Fredrico & Pico" "100 Bars"

50. "Hov retired but Compton still pushin Roc" "On & On"

51. "I came to see chicks shake they ass like Beyonce so let me be Hov 4 a min."

52. "All I gotta do is hit her wit a Jay-Z line like u deserve to be my sunshine"

53. "Biggie Smalls is the illest so is pac Jay retired i wonder if nas gon drop" "Unbeliveable freestyle"

54. "i kno they sayin y u gotta mention Jay" "State Yo Name"

55. "First Jay & Beyonce then Nas & Kelis" "A Week Ago Part 2"

56."u 36 And U Still Rappin Uhh, Im 26 And Homie So Iz Da Dubz" "one Blood"

57."So I reconciled my differences like he did with Jigga" Game on 'Hustlers'

58. "Im ready to die Without a reasonable doubt" "The Documentary"

59. "In '99 i studied +The Chronic+ inside out,

a Doggystyle for breakfast, lunch was Reasonable Doubt " "im A Soldier freestyle"

60. "Shouldnt been influenced by Calvin Broadus, Nasir Jones & Shawn Corey" "Pain In My Life Remix"

61. Yo Jay what it do niqqa, i done rocked enough fellas,to be u niqqa,i got the 40/40,they my 2 jigga's"

62. The word n!gger, is nothing like *****

Don't sound **** alike, like Game like Jigga

63."I was more hood then suge, had more rocs then Jay

more scars on my face then the original scarface, or the homeboy scarface."

64. "i need more than 60 seconds i aint Hov"

- Hot 2Nite (Remix)

65."Moved out the hood, changed her name to Jay"

66. "He ain't Nas, ain't B.I.G., ain't Jigga" 300 bars

67. ""Pushing the rock, nah this ain't no subliminal Jay

The summer too hot, and I want the winter to stay" Dear Summer

68.""I'm fly like a Hummingbird on a tree top

The new Hov, the new B.I.G., the new 'Pac, I need three spots"

69. ""Ask a Jay-Z fan about Big Daddy Kane, don't know em, Game gon show em" - Games Pain

70. ""She call me Jay I call her B we getting married to the streets" - Camera Phone

71. ""The kings coming, no i'm not Jay-z/ too many *****s hate me, but they scared to face me" 1 blood remix

72. "So I reconciled my differences like he did with Jigga" Make The World Go Round

73. ""I hear the crowd callin my name Game, Game

but i'm not one so don't try to play me

and this goes from Gucci Mane to Jay-Z" - Laugh

74."hip hop is soft since the Roc-A-Fella break up/and i don't do subliminals I just pick Jay up" - Walk in the streets

75."I'm that six figga *****/who got the word from KRS-One and stole the Blueprint from Jigga" - Feels Good

76."They say at Summer Jam i turned it out/but Kanye and Hova killed it without a doubt" - Just a lil bit (G-Unit Diss)

77.""We on that same elevator goin down, Dodger fitted got that Hova lean so they don't notice me" - Down & Out (mixtape version)"

Yeah, yeah, I'll be original later.

Scummy Coochie

- My internet is down and I'm losing my patience with Verizon for not fixing this shit automatically.

- It's so slow at work it doesn't make sense. It's like the zombie apocalypse today.

- I helped a couple that was expecting earlier and they gave up fucking with (insert company I work for name here) to go to (insert competing store's name here).

- I had to sign an online thing saying I can't talk about my job on the internet, so that's all you get to know.

- Well, I told them I shop at (insert competing store's name here) too and I would recommend it.

- It's sad when you recommend other stores to people while you're helping them, but it's true. Target is whooping everyone's ass.

- Whoops.

- Ordered a crib from Wal-Mart.

- My mom is going to order UFC 100 for me for Father's Day.

- Brock Lesnar is going to fuck Frank Mir up.

- I feel like I'm going through internet withdrawal.

- I feel like I lost touch with reality.

- When did Perez Hilton get beat up by Will-I-Am?

- Jeezy and Gucci still beefing? But they both can't rap.

- SOMEBODY POSTED KYLA PRATT AND MEAGAN GOOD'S NUMBER ON TWITTER AND I MISSED IT!?

- Fuck my life.

- Yo, I found out two of my co-workers are fuc-. . . Doing stuff to each other.

- They're both girls.

- I can't access my "SO MUCH WIN" picture from photobucket.

- Angry baby face.

Intermission

I have no idea why, but this picture is just really funny for some reason. Maybe it's the ominous gangbanger palming her ass, I don't know. It looks like the cover to some low budget porno movie.

"Bloods Banging Big Black Bitches"

He Got Us

- So, funny story, right. . . the baby isn't coming yet. Somehow the amniotic sac leaked and then it resealed itself, so we're playing the waiting game again. I know, right?

- I'm not even going to speak on the Charles Hamilton thing anymore. Like, it's a pattern with this dude. He has an algorithm that goes likes this:

1. Bad shit happens
2. He makes it worse
3. He plays the victim and either claims it's a misunderstanding or the person "antagonizing" him is out to get him
4. He discusses it with his "starchasers" who couldn't be more happy to snuggle with his scrotum
5. Not do shit for a while
6. Repeat

Let's give it up for Charles, everyone. He's rap music's biggest troll.

This is from Urban Dictionary:

Troll - One who purposely and deliberately (that purpose usually being self-amusement) starts an argument in a manner which attacks others on a forum without in any way listening to the arguments proposed by his or her peers. He will spark such an argument via the use of ad hominem attacks (i.e. 'you're nothing but a fanboy' is a popular phrase) with no substance or relevence to back them up as well as straw man arguments, which he uses to simply avoid addressing the essence of the issue.

I've come to the conclusion this nigga has a psychological disorder. If anything, it seems like schizotypal personality disorder. I really feel bad for this crazy guy.

- They put Final Fantasy VII on the PSN for $9.99 and I don't think a lot of people realize how great that is. A few months ago I was trying to help my friend look for it and that shit was on amazon for around $80. I saw it for 20, but that was one disc. So, yeah, awesome.

- Since the baby isn't here yet, there won't be any freaking out over him being at the baby shower. Still need to change my room around. Don't know exactly how I'm going to do that and not have me or him under the air conditioner, though.

- As a result of him not coming out, we totally spent a night in a hospital for nothing.

- 810, I got you. Seriously.

- Totally gonna do another post on rappers/producers/musicians that I think don't get enough shine.

- But I'm getting ready for E3. Jasmine's mom was going to nickname him Thor since he was almost born during a thunderstorm, but he wasn't. Oh well.

- Our friend Jamie doesn't know who Thor is. That's bad.

-

- That's Jamie. She's white.

- My blog has been getting boring. Go ahead, you can say it.

Baby in transit

I totally have some shit I want to talk about.



I'm going to leave it at that, being that my friends often associate me with this nigga. See you when E3 gets here!

E3 is my son's nickname, by the way.

Oh, Shit. Let Me Call You Back. There's a Hamburger in my Pocket

- I'm looking at the video for "You're a Jerk". Yo, that shit is so sad.

- These niggas buy women's jeans from Hot Topic.

- Checkered blue and black squares? Zebra Print?

- Is this better or worse than what Spectacular did.

- Speaking of which, a lot of women are flipping shits about how everyone's making a big deal out of whether he's gay or not and it's 2009 and people need to grow up.

- I can't speak for everyone else, but I don't care if he's gay. I just want him to come out the closet. If he just says "Alright, I love the feel of man ass on my cock", everyone will leave him alone and forget about him like Lance Bass.

- Please don't let this Jerkin shit catch on in Baltimore.

- The youth in Baltimore are so weak-minded. Look at the boost in gang members.

- It's Lil Wayne's fault.

- I want to do a post about sex, but I can't think of more topics.

- Oh, look, a new PSP.

- Will I buy it?

- I need more consumer penis stroking before I consider it. Consider me aroused though.

- I shouldn't have to pause that metaphor. I'm talking about a video game system without a gender.

- Fuck you.

- Advice Dog says:

"I'm going to go LP LP --> LK HP some pussy, if you know what I mean"

- Non-Street Fighter fans need not apply.

- So, they're making a DJ Hero game if you didn't hear about it.

- It has Daft Punk.

-

- I also saw this picture, where-in-which I have (Is that how you type it? Where-in-which?) put a red circle on the important thing.

-

-

- I was reading Texts From Last Night when I saw this:

omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

- She should probably go to the hospital. Then again, I've never had my vagina ripped, so I wouldn't know how one goes about dealing with that.

- Some guy in the comments proceeded to say it was fake because women never talk like that.

- There is no faster way to announce that you don't get any poontang than to say some shit like that.

- Every woman I know is just as disgusing as a man, if not more so.

-

- Talking to those four is like talking to guys, except from a perspective on the other side of the penis.

- I'm not giving names, because some of you dudes are weird.

- The third one has a Hugh Jazz.

-

- (617): Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased

- That's from Texts from Last Night, too. I thought that was funny.

- Advice Dog says:

Your Rhymes are Called the Vagina Monologues

- That was an old Nas line. It was in a song where he was reading his old rap books. Can't remember the name.

- How the fuck did I get 52 followers? I went to sleep with like 36.

- I'm 16-1 at UFC Undisputed online. I'm going to be honest: 85 percent of the niggas I fought were terrible. The rest were half my power level. Bitches don't know about my ground and pound.

- Still getting ready for our baby shower. Jasmine would argue that I'm not doing anything. Well, she can suck a fat one.

- Yo, stop telling me get Charles Hamilton. I doubt dude even reads my blog, so chances are he isn't going to listen to shit I have to say. Besides, I don't even find it that bad that a broad crowned him. I find it bad he had a stuffed Pink Panther on his arm. WHERE DEY DO DAT AT!?

- I don't even know what that means.

- So much dumb shit happens at my job that I'm going to give that topic it's own post.

-

- Meh, close enough.

- I had an interesting Friday. I went to a diner called Cafe Hon with the mother of my child. I had this sandwich called a Big Bay Club that was a crabcake, shrimp salad, bacon, lettuce and tomatoes. That shit was delicious. Orgasmic, even.

- We also saw a tranny on the bus. This wasn't your average tranny. I know when most people think of he-she's they think of Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo in To Wong Fu. This was not that. He had a man's face with woman hair. He had breasts. Not huge breasts, but breast enough to be feminine titties. Unfortunately, his pot belly stuck out beyond them. The guy had on a skirt. His legs were unshaven. They were reminscent of how your finger would look if you slid it under your couch and then looked at it. I did not see this because I did not bother to look hard enough, but Jasmine claimed that she could see his dick through his skirt.

- I'm sorry. . . I'm feeling nauseous.

- I also got good footage of a junkie doing the infamous "Lexington Market Lean" on my cell phone. She was dropping down and getting her eagle on.

- Shendiggity, me and Malcolm have to show you Lexington Market.

- I'm reading this thing about Hons on wikipedia. What the fuck is wrong with pronouncing "Baltimore" "Baldimore"? That shit is way too proper.

- When my mom says "fired" she says "farred".

- She's going to tell me to take that off.

- This is my blog!



- You know what pisses me off? Megahomophobic rappers. Like, that's not even the whole problem. Let me get to the point:

- How the fuck do you talk about rappers being undercover fags and talk about Kanye and Charles Hamilton but not mention the Knux?

-

- Nigga on the right. He looks mad Luther Vandross.

- I've usually been one to oppose the term "dress gay" because there are such things as homo thugs, but those niggas really dress like they pound butt.

- You "Noah's Arc" watching ass niggas.

- My mom loves that show.

- Advice Dog says:

The Road Virus Heads North

- A 5 day weekend. So awesome.

- The only thing sitting between me and UFC Undisputed is Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

- Yo, I have a co-worker that's annoying the fuck out of me. Like, you know that guy who's also goofy and a serious clown? When I say clown I don't mean like an asshole or a bitch ass nigga, I mean in the literal sense. This nigga be just doing dumb shit and using onomatopoeias and and other clown shit.

- He straight started imposing on me that we would be lightrail buddies. Like "Yo, Eric! Wait for me after work, yo!"

- B, you'll never see a Jamaican track runner get out of there like I got out of there.

- Then when I see him, I'll just be like "Oh, damn, I forgot! I was trying to catch the lightrail."

- He's not a bad dude, just. . . a clown.

- Stephen King is the best writer ever.

- This story, "Lunch at the Gotham Cafe" or some shit is wild. "YOU BOINKER!".

- Pregnant sex is awesome.

- Charles Hamilton is starting to freak me out. He wants us to believe he's dating Rihanna, he has a talking Pink Panther doll and he might be signed to Shady records. At the same time. I'm thoroughly confused.

- Courage Wolf says:

Me Stalling Until I Do an Actual Blog Post

Brought to you by Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Sorry, I Thought I Was a Lizard Earlier

- I should be sleep, but let's be honest, I hate math and I doubt my grade for that class is going to be awesome.

- With a baby on the way, I need to get on my shit, though.

- No, seriously. I'm going to have to start doing homework with the baby on my lap and if he throws up on it, he goes in the box.

- That was a joke.

- Probably.

- I've realized that since Jasmine and Mini-me will be staying at my house for his first week of breathing air, mad people are going to come try to see my child.

- I don't know if I'm going to have to make a list or what, but motherfuckers ain't going to be breathing their H1N1 breath all on my son.

- I need to start stocking up on pocket hand sanitizers.

- And certain people need to be checked about shit that won't be allowed around my baby, such as cigarette smoke and being dirty.

- I'm not being funny.

- But this is funny:

atlantabrotha: @SBnewnie how can you receive head and you are a female that makes no sense.
atlantabrotha: @SBnewnie maybe cause I'm straight I don't know about any of that lezbo stuff and don't wanna know about it cause it's wrong.
SBnewnie: @atlantabrotha i am str8.. like wht dnt yu understand?? i like gettin head.. females get head.. its 2009.. niggas is DOME'n off religiously(lol@religiously)
@SBnewnie oh I gotcha you like your pussy ate oh ok I was a lil confused for a minute my bad.

- I'm trying really hard not to generalize people from Atlanta and make jokes about how dumb people from the south are, I have family down there.

- UFC game? Piff.

- My girlfriend actually got me watching Ultimate Fighting Championship. Isn't that a bitch?

- Not Jasmine. She's not a bitch.

- Seriously, I'm purchasing that game. I was going to get Fight Night, but I think I'm gonna go with mixed martial arts on this one.

- My mom isn't home and I have no stupid leaves. TeH GEYzorz.

- I mean, come on, you know something went wrong during puberty when you only think lesbians get ate out.

-

- Yoooooooooooooo, I got a son.

Snurshdurgeshdir

- They completely unblocked blogger on the Sears blocky shit. YA-HA.

- So, right, me and Jasmine saw this very, very, painfully hideous woman on Saturday. So ugly, in fact, that we had to make up a word for her:

Snurshdurgeshdir

From this point forth, Snurshdurgeshdir is a phrase to be used for someone's who's facial deficiencies are otherwordly. On a scale of 1 to 10, this title represents the negatives. A blind man could see how ugly this person is. When you say it, make sure you say it in the ugliest way you can possibly muster.

- I want to get on Lookbook.nu, but unfortunately, 75 percent of my wardrobe consists of jeans and t-shirts. Why can't you just admire how great my t-shirts are and not whether I can make a pair of Doc Martens work with a lime green cardigan?

- Baby mode is in full effect. We're planning the baby shower and are about to go get our gift registry Thursday.

- I need to plan on spending a night at my cousin Brandon's house. Brandon is my favorite cousin and I can be mega nerdy around him. This Eric you see, now? This is only half of my nerd power. When me and Brandon are around each other, I'm talking pocket protectors and pushing your glasses up nerdy.

- I'm considering making another blog, but what would it be about? Clothes? Video games? Women? I don't know.

- If I ever make a mixtape/album, I'm getting DJ Imp to hook me up with some beats. He knows my little ho brother. I also decided my rap name would be Wade Wilson. Google it. No, it's not named after the football player.

- So, I just did a pick-up for an older Asian couple and my co-worker said they had an exchange that went something like this:

Co-worker: "Do you have a car?"
Gentleman: "Yes. Do I pull it around?"
Co-Worker: "Yes"
Gentleman: "So I pull up here?"
Co-Worker: "Yes"
Gentleman: "In here?"
Co-Worker: "No, you can't drive the car into the store lol"

- Also, do me a favor and download the Cool Kids new mixtape Gone Fishin. That shit is a bang-aah.

DAT ASS

- Uncharted 2 is getting multiplayer. God of War III, Tekken 6, Brutal Legend. . . It's like Sony wants all of my money.

- I would love to slide Mary Mary for using auto-tune, but the Gospel Shield of Jesus protects them.

- The same reason they didn't boo terrible singers at the Apollo if they sang a gospel song.

- Whatever happened to Showtime at the Apollo?

- Today has been a lazy day. I didn't do shit except rake leaves. This "Winter straight to Summer" thing is overwhelming.

- I bought the Orange Box. I love Half-Life 2 and I need that game in my life. Forever.

- I know ya'll want to know about the baby. He's alive. And he kicks a lot.

- I don't know what I just did to my shoulder, but it hurts like a break-up.

- Me, Jasmine and Jamie --

-

- That's Jamie. She's white. And a girl.

- We were at the harbor and a dog sprayed it's shit on the ground. Some girl stepped in it. Ew.

- We did other shit, but I don't feel like talking about it. I'm LAZY 2 DAY.

- I'm going to type like a moron just to see how it feels.

- ii HATE WEN PPL GET MAD @ U 4 GETEN ON DEM 4 TYPEN BAD DEY B ALL LIKE ITS JUS DA INTENRET LOL N I B LIK BITCH U NEED 2 LERN UR GRAMMAR BITCH

- DEN ii TAK ABOT HOW I B FUKKiiN DEY GRAMMA N DA BUTTHOLE DEY B LIK FUCC U N I BE LIK SUK MY DIK HOE

- That shit was really hard to do. It's difficult to believe people do that shit effortlessly.

- This guy tried to argue with me on youtube, but he just kept calling me gay and saying I like it when men nut on my back, so it wasn't really noteworthy.

- Why can't I ever find someone that shares my wit and sense of humor so that we can have an epic battle of minds? Because it's the internet.

- If I stand outside, I'm going to feel like I'm being sandwiched by fat women because it's so damn spicy outside.

- SMH:



- I didn't want to post any bucketheads, but this bitch was asking for it. The caption for the picture says "Mii B@Bii SAY FUCK U HATERS!!!!"

- In response, I said:

Oh, wow. I need to upload this as a smaller picture so I can post you on my blog and make fun of you. Surely you are an embarrassment to black people everywhere. I should know, since I am a black person and you are indeed embarrassing the shit out of my skin color.

- She deserved it.

- Why do these scunts feel that they don't need maternity clothes? When your stomach sticks out like that, you can't wear jeans with buttons and belts anymore.

- And I know they can fucking afford it because these bitches be buying clothes at the motherfucking mall but don't go in one place that sells maternity clothes.

- You know what, I just need a whole other blog where I just get on people, but that would make this one less interesting.

-

YOU KNOW I STAY HYPE!

-I'm listening to Wendy Williams dookie on Bow Wow. I heard he caught a bitch fit when Sandra Rose, Queen of Haters, questioned his relevance.

- Yeah, so, Lil Bow Wow been fell off. Soulja Boy verse > Bow Wow's on "Marco Polo". That's rock bottom right there.

- Not to mention him and Jermaine Dupri's ode to bromance.

- Then again, if he keeps kicking it with Soulja Boy and Gucci Mane, he might start rapping like them and funnel their fan base to himself. Who knows?

- This waiting for the baby shit is killing me! I know in four months I'm going to wish he was back in the womb.

- I've been posting too many videos lately.

- My team won that damn carbon emissions debate I was stressing about. I really thought we weren't going to win.

- Ha! Cap and trade >>> Hybrid cars.

- I feel like I can't say I listen to Charles Hamilton out loud anymore, but I still do because, you know, fuck you then.

- I'm sure some people saw a small problem on the day after my birthday and I assure you it's taken care of.

- Thanks to $port.

- You guys can leave comments on Jasmine's blog. I won't get mad. She does say some personal stuff on there.

- Like, about my genitalia.

- Should I get some Chick-Fil-A today? Those waffle fries are piff.

- Now I'm watching Unforgivable. That shit is hilarious.

- "Nigga wit a mop-top spoke up. Nigga had on Abercrombie!"

- I love this dude.

- If you said a pause should be right there, then you're calling me gay and I'd like it if you didn't read my blog.

- "Bitch, I don't want no Mike and Ike's. . . I want yo butthole!"

- Where does he come up with this shit?

- "She said 'who you gonna vote for, Ricky?'"
"They're the same devil, bitch! They both like triangles. Bitch, they in love with shapes!"

- I hope no one in my gender and women's studies finds out I think this is funny.

So, I Just Happened to Search Vagina on Photobucket

I swear, I have a totally legitimate reason for doing so. These pictures, however, just made me laugh. Especially the first one.















I swear I'm doing this more often.

So, I Wanna Post A Bunch of Crap, So I'm Just Going to Cram Them into One Post

It's our two year anniversary.



Pour out some Cristal Juicy Juice for my unborn child.



Kanye's getting the cover of Complex again.



COPPED It's weird and Science Fictiony and awesome.

I want this shirt.



Not in my budget.

I Couldn't Be Less Confused

Wait, what?

I supply you with this website of "What the fuckery".

Picture is Unrelated