This is Getting Really Fucking Old

Look, check this out. I'm starting to get annoyed with the multitude of dipshits, retards and D.E.C. students who are saying that Lil Wayne is, in fact, the best rapper alive.

First off, let me explain to you assclowns the difference between facts and opinions.

Fact (n.) - An objective consensus on a fundamental reality that has been agreed upon by a substantial number of people.

Opinion (n.) - A thought that a person has formed about a topic or issue.

Let me give you an example:

Opinion - "Lil Wayne is the best rapper alive!"

Fact - "No one that says 'I'm rare like Mr. Clean with hair' can be the best rapper alive."

It confounds me painfully that Lil Wayne dickriders are the main ones that want to argue about Lil Wayne's relevance in hip-hop, yet they can't formulate a good argument. I'm a logical person. If I can find "logic" on facebook, I'd become a fan of it. If you can give me an actual good argument on why something is so, I may respect you as a person. Here's a list of illogical things that Lil Wayne's cockjockers use when arguing about how good he is:

1. His sales and marketing ability. This has nothing to do with how good he is as a rapper. Let me extend this. People tend to say shit like "Well, he sells well so apparently he's good". No. It is a fact that humans make stupid choices. One of the stupid choices that a lot of people make is their music. Just because a dude sells one million copies doesn't mean that he's good. Just because someone only sells 50,000 copies doesn't meant that they're bad. Especially not in the age of free downloads. Not to take anything away from Dwayne Carter, but a platinum plaque doesn't mean you're great. Especially when most of your fans are teenage girls that religiously watch Super Sweet Sixteen and The Hills and teenage internet thugs and wiggas who threaten to shoot people on youtube.

2. How many "haters" he has. That is just fucking stupid. Fuck you if you actually use this.

3. Him saying he's the best rapper alive.

A lot of you weak minded fools decided he must be the best rapper alive if he says it three times a song. I say you go kill yourself.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate him. I rarely bring him up in conversation since I don't really pay attention to people that say "I'm fly go hard like geese erection". However, I feel that Lil Wayne's massive amount of sackhangers are the scum of the earth, down there with the Ku Klux Klan and people that think "monkeys" is actually "monkies".

I, fortunately, don't have haters since I'm a likable person, but if anyone feels the need to defend Lil Wayne, I'll do it for them.

"Wut iisz u takken boWt ll wain iiz duh bess n u juz a hater (they always spell hater right) u nEeD 2 qit off hiz diick. u ned 2 qet a lif bcuz u will neva m4k3 az much m0ni3z as he doo"

After you read this, can you please link any Lil Wayne dickrider you know to this? We need a widespread dumbass intervention.

EDIT:

I feel I need to elaborate more as not offend the wrong people. I only seek to offend the right people. I don't dislike people that are Lil Wayne fans or love Lil Wayne's music. I may think less of you, but I don't despise you. However, there are the motherfuckers that are like overzealous Christians. You could be talking about football and then someone will say "Lil Wayne said this hard ass line about football. You listen to Lil Wayne?" Then they proceed to gloat about how great Lil Wayne is and how everyone should listen to him.

My little brother Terrell likes Soulja Boy. I don't care, as long as he isn't telling me to listen to Soulja Boy because he's nicer than everyone I like. This is something that Lil Wayne dookiechasers do.

This Would Be Like Letting Lupe Fiasco Give Me Facial Reconstruction

I don't know what level of dick-ridery or loyalty this has to be, but I don't give a shit how cool I think you are, you can't touch my face if you barely have tattoo experience. Apparently, Wayne has approximately two weeks of tattooing experience and Tyga thinks it is a good idea to let him tattoo his face because, I assume, he's his boss. He has three dots which are supposed to mean "laugh, then cry" or some retarded shit. Fuck that.

If I ever get a tattoo, you're going to know exactly what it is. I don't want people asking me what my tattoo means, so nothing in Japanese or some symbol or some other lame trash like that.

Little Wayne featuring Pharrell - Yes(. . . no)

Lil Wayne stupid line count:

"Scarier than a cat in a cave with a terrier/ pet semetary, Wayne are you the veteranarian?/"

Ugh. That's quite obviously the syrup talking.

"Weezy F Baby and the F is for phenomenal"

I thought he didn't hang around unintelligent people? This is obviously the weed talking

"Just kicking it with a Bruce Lee-S-bian"

I. . . I don't know. It. . . it makes my brain hurt.

There's more, I just really don't feel like listening to it again.

Didn't Lil Wayne say he didn't fuck with Pharrell like that and shit back when he was beefing with the Clipse? What the fuck, man.

Taken from Collegin.

What me and my brother talk about on the phone. Pt. 2

*********************************************
(After sending me a text message calling me a rapist)
Terrell: You're a dick.

Eric: Don't call me a rapist, cock monkey.
*********************************************
Me: You better chill out before I Donald Duck* your dumb ass.

Terrell: Man, suck a fat one.
*********************************************
(Talking about one of his homegirls who fell for the jailbait)
Me: I don't know what sign she is, but I know one of her traits are crib robbery.
*********************************************
Terrell: I mean, what the fuck, b?

Me: What the fuck what?

Terrell: What the fuck, b?

Me: . . . Nigga, you not clarifying anything. . .
*********************************************
Terrell: I got a female friend named Khaki.

Me:. . . Khaki? Like, the pants? Her parents named her Khaki?

Terrell: Yeah, like khaki pants. She like my best friend. She ugly.

Me: LOL

Terrell: For real.

Me: That wasn't nice.

Terrell: She look like a pair of khakis

Me: LMFAO
**********************************************
Terrell: Yo, when I go see Nita Saturday, it's BONER SMASHING TIME!
**********************************************
Me: Oh, she's gonna be at her aunt's house?

Terrell: Yeah

Me: Then you can put your cock on her face

Terrell: Early!
**********************************************
Terrell: Oh My God, Khaki calling me.

Me: *snicker*

Both:LMAO
**********************************************
Me: Ain't nobody tell you to talk to an ugly girl named Khaki. Where do you find these girls with weird ass names?

Terrell: What you mean, yo?

Me: It's like you have an odd-named female magnet or some shit
*********************************************

(Intermission)
Hiilarious Twitter Quotes

Malcolm Maximillion: I like using pink towels after a shower. Its like being inside a woman to me.

$port: This beat makes me wanna throw a Timberland thru a windshield...
(Back to the matter)
*********************************************
Terrell: You know ******* called me in this morning?

Me: Her buckethead ass? What does she want?

Terrell: I don't know, man. I'm about to do it to her again.

Me: LMAO

Terrell: What's so funny?

Me: That just came out of nowhere.

Terrell: She just acting like she miss the dilz.
**********************************************
Me: What?

Terrell: What?

Me: What?

Terrell: Suck a fat one.

Me: Oh word? Well stick a quarter in ya ass, nigga, cuz you just played yaself!
*********************************************
Me: What the hell are you singing?

Terrell: Streetlights

Me: I don't even fuck with that song. That shit isGETTHEFUCKOUTMYFACE, GNAT.
********************************************
Me: Yo, this Indian girl has some nice titties. It makes me wanna beat off.
********************************************
Terrell: Aaaawww. . .

Me: What, did you just ejaculate or some shit?

Terrell: I just bust a. . . bump.

Me: Ooooookay. . .

Terrell: On my thigh.

Me: Alrig-

Terrell: Near my meat.

Me: TOOOOO much information.
******************************************
Me: You know what, I'm glad you and Rodney found each other because you're both cocks.
******************************************
Terrell: He got that body & soul.

Me: What? He got that bottle of soul mix?

Terrell: OBAMA!

Me: *spits out mouthful of water*
*****************************************
(Talking about a chick that used to be on my friend list and had twins)
Me: That might have been why I deleted her.

Terrell: Why?

Me: Remember when I cleansed my friends list and deleted a lot of preggers? I can't mess with no chicks with babies. I don't have any kids. What if I go over their house and their kids just sitting there? I ain't got no kids for them to play with.

Terrell: LOL

Me: Why are you laughing? What am I gonna do? Let them play with my PSP? Fuck that. They better suck each other's thumbs or some shit.
*****************************************
Terrell: Did you ever wonder if pushing a baby out feels like pushing out a big ass fart?

Me: Yo. . . why would you ask some shit like that?
*****************************************
Terrell: I bet the world's biggest fart felt real good.

Me: I'm pretty sure the world's biggest fart blew a man's ass open.
*****************************************
Me: I should give Jasmine a dutch oven tomorrow.
*****************************************
Me: You ever had a swag so off the hook you had to do the Harlem Shake?

Terrell: You a bluffing ass nigga.
*****************************************
Me: What?

Terrell: You don't wanna wrestle on the dining room table.
*****************************************
(Listening to Amazing by Kanye and Young Jeezy)
Me: This beat rocking. I need the instrumental so I can rap over it about sad lizards in the desert.
******************************************
Terrell: Laquecia just text messaged me.

Me: Don't you kids got school tomorrow?

Terrell: Nigga, shut up.
******************************************
(Waiting for "Spoiled Little L.A. Girl" on "Robocop")
Terrell: Here it come, Eric. . . Here it come, Eric. . . Here it come. . . Here it come. . .

Me: SHUT UP!
*****************************************
Lil Wayne: You think yo shit don't stink but you are Mrs. P-U!

Me: That was corny. That was really corny.

Terrell: The "Mrs. P-U" line?

Me: Yeah, that shit made my face hurt.
****************************************
Me: Yo, tired.

Terrell: Who me?

Me: Yeah. You tired as shit.

Terrell: What, you wanna eat my pepperoni?
***************************************

*A Donald Duck is when you yank someone's nose and then slap it.

The Game featuring Lil Wayne - My Life

First, I'd like to say that the Game is wack. He'd be a genuinely good rapper if he did not name drop so FUCKING MUCH. I mean, Jesus, just listen to the first verse. He even name dropped John Lennon. I'm also highly frustrated that he said "We are not the same, I am a Martian" and the beginning of the second verse. I really don't see how people could sit here and listen to him without getting pissed off at how many famous people/cars/locations he mentions.

Second, when did Lil Wayne become the new T-Pain? His singing voice is hilarious. His little singing part about Rodney King on "Mrs. Officer"? I can't listen to that without laughing.

So, some guy found the sample to A Milli

I also thought about sampling something so obscure that no one would be able to figure out where it's from and not be able to sue me, but what the hell? Bangladesh is retarded. I don't mean that in the good way, either. How do you hear some shit like that and think, "If I put a hot beat over this, this would be one of the hottest song of 2008?" He's. . . I really can't think of an adjective to even describe what I think of his thinking at that point. He's a retarded genius.

Lloyd feat. Lil Wayne - Girls All Around the World

I swear I didn't want to use the BET one, but it had the best quality. I'll put the one on OnSmash up when they post it. Personally, I like the video and it might be one of my favorites this year. I remember going to listen to the song on youtube and a dude left a comment saying "When I first heard it, I said 'Damn, this dyke sound kinda nice, she might blow up' before I realized it was Lloyd". What's up with the scratching in Lil Wayne's part? I thought he hated DJs. And mixtape DJs basically count as all DJs.

Lil Wayne featuring Static Major (R.I.P.) - Lollipop

What is there to say about this video? It's average at most. If Static Major didn't pass away, this would've been my first time hearing about dude. I guess it's a good look as far as a single, cause broads are gonna like it regardless (Bet money it gets hella spins in strip clubs). I really feel like I'm being auto-tuned to death right now though.