In God (who I think is real) We Trust

Agnostic theism, also known as Spiritual Agnosticism is the philosophical view that encompasses both theism and agnosticism. Per theism, an agnostic theist believes that the proposition at least one deity exists is true, but, per agnosticism, believes that the existence of gods are unknown or inherently unknowable. The agnostic theist may also or alternatively be agnostic regarding the properties of the god(s) they believe in.

I guess that would be a good description of my beliefs as far as religion. I'm used to just saying "I don't have a religion", but then people think I'm an atheist, which is something you're used to living in Baltimore, which is full of black Christians. If you say anything besides "Jesus is awesome", you're labeled a heathen. Understandable.

I started to fall out of Christian beliefs when I was around 16. I started thinking too much and shit and eventually realized Christianity wasn't the greatest religion ever. I was sitting on a bus stop listening to this old lady talking to this broad about Christianity and how Judgment Day is coming and God is going to wipe all of the heathens(meaning anyone who's not a Christian), homosexuals and sinners off the face of the earth.

That's all good and well, but it's just the smugness of Christians that gets to me. I mean, you think it's weird for people to believe in Buddhism and shit, but it's not weird to believe in a guy that died and is now living in heaven and playing as the middle man between us and God. Kinda rude, don't you think? There's a verse or something saying "If you deny me before man, I deny you before my father". What kind of bullshit is that? So if I'm a good person, but I don't want to be best friends with Jesus, he can be like "I don't want him up here because I don't like him"? The bible's stories have to many plotholes in them that I'd rather not argue about.

Religion is an extremely sensitive topic, being that wars are fought over it. My teacher in West African History said "Christianity was silly" and a girl in my class argued with him and then ran out crying and never came back. I try not to question Christianity out loud too much because then people want to set you straight. I'm not saying I hate Jesus or I think Christianity is stupid, it's just not parallel to how I see the world, you know? One of my best friends is an ordained minister and I don't feel like hearing a lecture about the greatness of the father, the son and the holy ghost. I'll leave all the arguing shit for atheists.

By the way, I don't like atheists. Atheists believe that people don't like them because they don't believe in God. That's not it. It's that these fuckers are so arrogant about the fact they don't believe in God, you'd think they had proof that he didn't exist. They ridicule religious and spiritual people for their beliefs, but don't have a good defense for their own. If you ask an atheist "How do you know God doesn't exist?", they'd most likely respond "There is no proof of his existence." So, where's the proof of his non-existence? They don't fucking know. So instead of talking about awesome you are and how dumb Christians are, they could perhaps work on, I don't know, shutting the fuck up.

Okay, no more religion talk. I want to talk about funny shit.

Thanks a lot, Jasmine

Well, I was hoping I'd keep this a secret until I could take actual pictures of it, but my girlfriend decided to write a blog about it.

I'm gonna be a father soon.

Yes, my magnificence will now be taking the form of an infant in several months and to tell the truth, I'm not really scared. I mean, I look on the bright side of it, It's not like I'm still in high school. I'm actually older than my father was when he got my mom pregnant (I'll be 20 in over a month) and most of my family that I've told so far has been supportive and some even excited.

So, while being my same painfully honest, nerdy self I'll keep you posted on the upcoming baby. Being that a hefty amount of my followers are women, I'm sure you'll love that shit.

You can see my girlfriend's "pregnancy blog" right here.

"And I spent 400 bucks on this, just to be like 'Nigga, you ain't up on this!'"

I just sat there and read the lyrics to "All Falls Down" because my girlfriend said that line reminded her of me, which is kinda true. Then, I sat and read through the whole thing and the third verse kinda hit me.


We'll buy a lot of clothes but we don't really need em
The things we buy to cover up what's inside
Cause they made us hate ourself and love they wealth
That's why shorties holler, "Where the ballers at?"
Drug dealers buy Jordans, crackheads buy crack
But the white man get paid off of all a dat
But I ain't even gon act holier than thou
Cause fuck it, I went to Jacob with 25 thou
Before I had a house and I'd do it again
Cause I wanna be on 106 and Park pushing a Benz
I wanna act ballerific like it's all terrific
I got a couple past due bills, I won't get specific
I got a problem with spending before I get it
We all self conscious I'm just the first to admit it


That pretty much summed up my attitude towards materialism. Sure, it's bad, but I still do it regardless of what people think. This week alone I purchased a The Hundreds t-shirt, a Mishka t-shirt, a Play Cloths t-shirt with a beanie and a belt. That's about $170 in clothes. I usually can justify it and if I can't, I just say "Well, I'm not buying anymore clothes, I promise". I might be lying.


I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven
When I awoke I spent that on a necklace
I told God I'd be back in a second
Man its so hard not to act reckless


Even though I don't wear necklaces, it's nice to know Kanye sees where I'm coming from. Unfortunately, he's wealthy enough to buy my entire block and I work a regular job. Go figure.

Edit: I'd like to add, though, I do pay my bills on time before anything. I'm not that gaudy.

You want to hear something funny about myself?

I'm an asshole. Dead ass serious. A total, unforgiving, uncaring asshole. I tend to be that way, especially when I get in defense mode(basically when I'm offended). So, I noticed a pattern of sorts that I go through with my girlfriend. She'll say something, I'll get pissed, I'll blow it out of proportion and get her upset, we'll get off of the phone with each other and then I'll call back to tell her how I realized how I fucked up and I'm sorry. I'm actually about to do the last part right now.

Back to me being an asshole. I could blame it on years of being picked on/fucked with in middle school. That would be a good excuse in a psychiatrist's office. Maybe it might be my own personal demons, but I'm too funny to seem like I have personal demons(That was conceited). I guess at some point it hit me that it's not a kind world and being all soft wouldn't get me far. That mixed with my wit kinda causes me to come off as a douchebag. Well, I am, kinda, actually, if you don't have tough skin.

Either way, I like being me. I am a self-proclaimed asshole, but that doesn't mean I want to change and try to be nicer. If I told someone I would, I'd be lying. I'd be lying right in their face with a smile.

If there's one thing I learned from my dad, it's to be a man of your word and not apologize for something you meant. I've been following that since forever. One time in my Spanish class, a friend of mine was picking with me while I was doing the drill saying "You're doing it wrong. That's not the right answer." I turned around and said "Honestly, I don't give a fuck what you think." Apparently, I said it kinda loud and my teacher heard it. She was super pissed and told me to apologize and I said "No, I meant it." The whole class thought it was hilarious but I was being dead ass serious.

I also realized that people respect you less when you kiss their ass and try to be overly nice. I mean, I would walk all over someone if they were extra sweet to me and weren't related to me.

Shit, I'm rambling. I need to post something funny.