I'm an asshole. Dead ass serious. A total, unforgiving, uncaring asshole. I tend to be that way, especially when I get in defense mode(basically when I'm offended). So, I noticed a pattern of sorts that I go through with my girlfriend. She'll say something, I'll get pissed, I'll blow it out of proportion and get her upset, we'll get off of the phone with each other and then I'll call back to tell her how I realized how I fucked up and I'm sorry. I'm actually about to do the last part right now.
Back to me being an asshole. I could blame it on years of being picked on/fucked with in middle school. That would be a good excuse in a psychiatrist's office. Maybe it might be my own personal demons, but I'm too funny to seem like I have personal demons(That was conceited). I guess at some point it hit me that it's not a kind world and being all soft wouldn't get me far. That mixed with my wit kinda causes me to come off as a douchebag. Well, I am, kinda, actually, if you don't have tough skin.
Either way, I like being me. I am a self-proclaimed asshole, but that doesn't mean I want to change and try to be nicer. If I told someone I would, I'd be lying. I'd be lying right in their face with a smile.
If there's one thing I learned from my dad, it's to be a man of your word and not apologize for something you meant. I've been following that since forever. One time in my Spanish class, a friend of mine was picking with me while I was doing the drill saying "You're doing it wrong. That's not the right answer." I turned around and said "Honestly, I don't give a fuck what you think." Apparently, I said it kinda loud and my teacher heard it. She was super pissed and told me to apologize and I said "No, I meant it." The whole class thought it was hilarious but I was being dead ass serious.
I also realized that people respect you less when you kiss their ass and try to be overly nice. I mean, I would walk all over someone if they were extra sweet to me and weren't related to me.
Shit, I'm rambling. I need to post something funny.