Thursday, August 20, 2009

HUGE THUMBTACKS

- I'm an asshole.

- Maaaan, I had to wear some tight pants at work today. I was trying to surprise one of my co-workers and when I crouched under an obstacle to get to her, my massive man-thighs caused my khakis to give way and produced a vicious rip down the left side of my pants.

- That's embarassing, bitch.

- I had to "store use" some pants, meaning I had to pick some off of the clearance rack.

- I ended up getting these pants that leave me no crotch room and barely fit around my legs.

- It felt like my dick was in jail.

- I need new work pants.

- Yo, we have this customer that comes in all the time that picks a vacuum up for repair and turns one in.

- The vacuum cleaners stay looking like shit when they bring them in.

- It looks like they beat people with them.

- I also got on the bus today and there was a girl who's ass was literally popping out the bottom of her shorts.

- I was infatuated until she got off.

- I also had a girl eyefuck me after I helped her grandparents.

- My job is awesome sometimes.

- She was of age.

4 comments:

Reggie said...

The reason I like this blog is because you always keep it 100. Always. Had me laughing at the whole damn thing...:)

http://www.reggieiscrazy.blogspot.com

New blog, homie.

S.W. said...

.......I need a job with action like this.

Paula said...

lol mad funny.

My job is boring- I part time at my school library- something about the smell of new books - its not half as interesting.

The Notorious Z.A.G. said...

You're baaack yaaay!! Hilariousness.
Eyefucking? Yummy... I kinna did that to a guy who was gracious enough to be walking down the street shirtless with a six pack (not beers), minimal hair, and brown sugar skin.. Mmmm. Anyway, the point is I work with a bunch of prune faced sourpusses. Sourpuss'? Sourpussies? Hmm... Gotta think about that one.
Why do old(er) ladies always have the biggest dumb asses imaginable? Have you noticed, or am I wrong for looking..
Love your blog; reppazint Bawdimore nigga!