Friday, March 6, 2009

Shit I Hate

Jimmy Fallon

jimmy fallon Pictures, Images and Photos

HE'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY! HE'S NOT FUNNY! IF YOU THINK HE'S FUNNY, YOU DESERVE TO DIE A SLOW, PAINFUL BLOODY DEATH! I swear to God if I see a clip of him on Saturday Night Live and he looks at the camera and laughs one more time, I'm going to find my way to the Late Night show and kill him. WHY WOULD THEY LET HIM HOST THE LATE NIGHT SHOW AFTER CONAN O' BRIEN!? That's like Yung Berg coming out with a mixtape called "So Far Gone" after Drake. It's so not the same. The Roots band can't help him and I am labeling them sell-outs for getting on a show with this assclown. JESUS CHRIST!

Bluetooth Headsets

Bluetooth Headsets ,CSR program, Bluetooth V2.0 With 8-Hour talk time Pictures, Images and Photos

I don't hate bluetooth headsets as much as I hate the people who use them. This thing was invented to help make life easier. For example, it's unsafe to drive and talk on the phone at the same time. BAM put your headset in and both hands are free. Perhaps you were having a conversation and you have to lift something or you're doing something that involves both hands. Pop your headset in and go about your day.

But no, being that humankind, especially Americans, are obnoxious douchebags, they decide to accept the bluetooth headset as a sort of status symbol. I hate seeing assholes walking down the street talking to themselves and I'm like "WTF is wrong with this cocksprain?" and they turn to the side and I see a bluetooth headset. Maybe I'm pissed because I'm entertained by the idea of a crazy person then just find out that they're on the phone, but this would be avoided if you just held your phone up to your ear like everyone else. No one thinks you're cool or that you're rich we just think you're an assface.


SWAG Pictures, Images and Photos

My definition of swag:

"To dress in bright colors and other shit that people don't usually wear and when people get on you for your style, you say that they are 'wack' and they are 'haters'".

Like, really, there's no such thing as a swag. Swag doesn't exist. It's the Lil Wayne effect. Lil Wayne constantly called himself the best rapper alive to the point that 95% of his dick riders believe this to be true. Now when you go around saying you have swag, then people might start to believe you.

This phrase--"swag"-- has caused me to use the phrase "swagga on a hundred thousand trillion" that was first said by Kanye West in the song "Swagga Like Us". When I use this phrase, however, I use it for someone that is dressing in a very humorous and abnormal way and I mock the fact that they chose to wear that outfit out of their house by saying "Yo swag on a hundred thousand trillion".

So if I say that about you, it's not a compliment, but you should take it as such to avoid a verbal assault.


Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

I agree with jimmy not being funny lol for me with the blue tooth's I hate when people keep them in thier ears and they aren't on the phone they just want people to know they HAVE one! lmao

Anonymous said...

I love Jimmy Fallon. I find him funny by default but like for me it's hilarious.

Um bluetooth headsets, your argument sounds a lot like the argument used by the boondocks character voiced by Samuel L Jackson had, but his was stronger. But he gets you. I've never had an interest in bluetooth anything besides swapping songs. That's about it. Oh, and naming my phone random things like 'incoming virus' or 'free porn'. But i'm stupid like that.

Swagger is stupid. Well, the bright colours are. I think people like Kanye and them make up crap like that to justify themselves. Almost like they're trying to see how much they own our minds, mind-Fuck us up maybe?

Schoolin4TheGoodLife said...

i hate the bluetooth thing when somebody says something and you think they were talking to you and you're like "hi" and then you realize they have that piece of shit in their ear but you didn't see it at first because it was on the other side of their head.

you'll like this video.prank call from a radio station that goes horribly wrong

Rogero said...

I think bluetooth headsets save me the job having to manually identify the undesirable element in a person through conversation. They're like auditory wheelchairs or 'FRANKIE SAYS...' t-shirts...

because anyone in the know will be aware that the original slogan was 'FRANKIE SAY...' no 's'.

Anonymous said...

I hate when you're talking to someone and right in the middle of the conversation they say "hey" or start talking about something off topic, so you're like umm, what I was saying was... until they wave their finger in the air to shut you up because they're talking to someone else. At least say "hold on". Geez, and it's not like you're not distracted anyways on the bluetooth. A waste. Lol Lil Wayne dick-riders.

Rosie said...

Ha Ha!!! I love the one about Jimmy Fallon. You aren't the first person to say that!!! Which makes it all the more funny!!!

Rosie said...

Oh yea... BTW...if you want to see some ridiculous Swagger... You should come to the Chi. I swear... every dude and their mama tries to dress like Kanye and it's disgusting!!! They don't look good!
Dudes be wearing 'Hot Blue' Puffer Coats with brown scarfs.. and Red Shoes... WTF!!!