Monday, March 30, 2009

Sarcasm is my middle name. No, it's not. I'm a Liar.

If you ask anyone that talks to me, I'm really a sarcastic person. Nowadays, people just claim sarcasm because they think that it's cool. That shit is totally annoying, seeing people in shirts that say "I'm fluent in sarcasm". Hell, even shit like this:

sarcastic Pictures, Images and Photos

"Look at me! I'll say the opposite of what I really mean with a smug tone and that shows my bitchy attitude! I'm cooler than you because I suffer from anti-social personality disorder!"

Look, I really don't know how to control my sarcasm, sometimes even unleashing it on some random stranger. It just surprises me when people ask dumb, obvious questions and then get offended.

"Was there just a car accident?"
"No. Why would you think that? Is it the two destroyed cars in the middle of the street or the debris all over the ground? Perhaps the ambulance right there?"

It's a defense mechanism.

I remember a time when I was in 3rd grade and the teacher said "Draw what you want to be when you grow up". I didn't fucking know, I was 8, so I just drew an astronaut." She said "Why an astronaut? Try again." So, out of anger, I drew a Shoe City cashier and she took my paper and I started crying. I don't really want to be a Shoe City cashier, but I was like "Fuck it, if you won't take what I give you." She probably would've thought I was one of those at-risk children if I wasn't already the smartest one in the class.

Those fake sarcasm motherfuckers are one of two kinds of people I hate. People that tell other people they're sarcastic and people that tell people they're funny. Technically, I'm the first one now, which means I must commit seppuku, but I could never be the second. Those obnoxious assholes.


Super Woman said...

.... that shows my bitchy attitude! I'm cooler than you because I suffer from anti-social personality disorder!"

I dont say the opposite but i do tend to just be a antisocial bitch who does opposite gestures...Like smile when i wanna say "Fuck You"

I have a smart mouth but not half as fucked up as yours ...

bLAW said...

OK,your blog officially goes off!Seeya on Hamiltons' blogspot.

Rogero said...

it's the people who say they're anything that get on my dick. Like, people can't be that good at what they say they are if they're forever having to justify it/point it out.

Lelan said...

^ yeah your blog is cool.. But not as cool as CH-AR's

Gorgeous Lynette said...

preach! it aggrivates me when people think sarcasm is rude or whatever. and especially when people are overly sensitive.

Paula said...

Well... yeah... I can't pull the whole sarcasm thing off because I don't itonate my voice so people take my sarcasm seriously. Oh well, fuck it.

Paula said...

I'm more cynical actually. It's just... most things suck :P

Malcolm Maximillion said...

lmao @ SuperWoman

and you can still be a shoe city cashier if you want