What Me and My Brother Talk About On the Phone(Guest starring Jasmine)

Me: I'm about to look at some baby onesies!
Terrell: I took a dump this morning.
Me: . . . Why did you need to tell me that?
Terrell: In the first floor bathroom. While I was making waffles.
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Me: That's my angry demon voice. RRRAAAARRGGH!
Terrell: It sounds like somebody burned you and it sting when you piss.
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Terrell: Yo, this girl Nita got a banging body, son.
Me: Then skeet on it.
Terrell: I don't have her number anymore.
Me: Damn! FAIL!
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Terrell: Yo, ******* mad at me, yo.
Me: Why do you keep talking about her?
Terrell: Because she so cute
Me: Angry baby face.
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Jasmine: What are you doing?
Terrell: Listening to Drake.
Jasmine: Drake?
Me: Man, she don't know who Drake is.
Jasmine: Like Drake and Josh?
Me: Wow.
Terrell: She just went gay on me.
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Terrell: Remember Britney that lived across the street from Eugene?
Me: Yeah?
Terrell: She like girls now.
Me: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATSHEADYKE!?
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Terrell: Jasmine. I need a girlfriend.
Me: He says this, like, every month.
Jasmine: I'm bout to slap him.
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Terrell: Jasmine, Eric won't write a blog about me.
Eric: No, this nigga wants me to write a biography about him and shit.
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(Talking about Drake)

Jasmine: Do they taste good?
Terrell: What?
Jasmine: His nuts.
Eric: Aww, she carried you! You gonna let her carry you?
Terrell: Nah, I got her.
Jasmine: You didn't answer me.
Me: AAAWWWW! SHE STILL SLIDING YOU!
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Me: Yo, I'm about to take a dump.
Terrell: I'ma get off the phone then.
Me: why you always gotta get OFF THE PHONE!?
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