Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Dig a Hole, Nigga, Bury Yourself

Uh-oh! Here's a continuation of the "Perry" story from my job, but with an unexpected twist!

Yesterday, right, Perry starts talking to me in MPU and the conversation goes something like:

Perry: "You saw Asscheeks, right?"
Me: "Yeah"
Perry: "You would fuck?"
Me: "Duh, nigga, I'm a man"
Perry: "But I'm saying, if she straight offered you the pussy, would you take it?"
Me: "Yeah, but ain't you trying to beat?"
Perry: "Yeah. We was just kissing in the break room."
Me: "For real?"
Perry: "Yeah. She had a mint and I said I was tryna get it so she put it on her lip"
Me: "Uh-huh"
Perry: "And I kissed her and put my tongue in her mouth and she said I was nasty"
Me: "Word?"


Wait, this is the best part.

Approximately an hour ago, my co-worker Mark calls me and that conversation goes like this:

Mark: "GUESS THE FUCK WHAT!?"
Me: "What?"
Mark: "Guess who's related?"
Me: "Let me guess. Is one of them Perry?"
Mark: "Yeah."
Me: "And the other one's Asscheeks?"
Mark: "Yep."
Me: "Get the fuck outta here!"

Apparently, Asscheeks came up to Perry like "You know we're related, right?" and he says "Stop fucking playing." Asscheeks then lists off family members that Perry then recognizes. From Mark's telling, Perry is mad as a motherfucker.

Now, let's think back. This nigga sat here and claimed he almost had sex with Asscheeks in a dressing room and he just said he made out with her in the break room the previous night and now he finds out that they're related. He sat their and told all of these lies about the girl and the encounters they had and they were cousins this whole time.

My girlfriend thinks this situation is stupid and we should've been called him out, but she's lame. She insists we shouldn't let him insult our intelligence and lie to us to our face, but that's not my style. Instead of being direct, I like to play more of the spectator role and let people run themselves into a brick wall. This nigga hit a wall at, like, 140 miles per hour.

I can't wait to see what other shit happens at Sears High School.

12 comments:

dom corleone said...

LMAO they related that shit is off the wall type hilarious... This dude straight played himself

"She insists we shouldn't let him insult our intelligence and lie to us to our face, but that's not my style. Instead of being direct, I like to play more of the spectator role and let people run themselves into a brick wall. This nigga hit a wall at, like, 140 miles per hour."

Classic

Malcolm Maximillion said...

Keep it coming, this shit getting deeper and deeper.

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

I like sears now lol

DNelson said...

Finally...

Nigga just stuck his jimmy on the stove with this one. Keep on followin up its gettin betterr n better each read.

Frederick Lazarus said...

wow, this dude probably still wanna fuk her based on what i've heard in the previous story

Gorgeous Lynette said...

what an idiot.

N.I.K.E. said...

I Mean, If They Third Cousins Then It's Legal, Right?

Wow Dude Is A CLASS-A ASSCLOWN

$port said...

LAWLZ & ORDER: SVU

Reggie said...

LMAO!!!!::)

ape james said...

HAHAHAHAHHAHA...damn, i use to have a co-worker like that...he use to claim that he was fucking this girl named peaches, months went on, and in actuality he never hit...but one day he hit, and the next day he poked some chick he met on myspace...then one week later he was like "I went to piss yesterday, and my dick almost fell off...so my mom takes me to the doctor's office, and they said...well, that bitch gave me the CLAP!!"

Super Woman said...

smh .... this nigga is wild. Sitting there swapping spit (Allegedly) with his own damn cousin...

almost having sex/having sex (Allegedly) with his cousin and another co-worker

Hurry up and set this nigga up with hot white chicks 1 and 2 i wanna see how that plays out.

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

Where are you, I'm missing the stories lol