Thursday, December 4, 2008

What me and my brother talk about on the phone. Pt. 2

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(After sending me a text message calling me a rapist)
Terrell: You're a dick.

Eric: Don't call me a rapist, cock monkey.
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Me: You better chill out before I Donald Duck* your dumb ass.

Terrell: Man, suck a fat one.
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(Talking about one of his homegirls who fell for the jailbait)
Me: I don't know what sign she is, but I know one of her traits are crib robbery.
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Terrell: I mean, what the fuck, b?

Me: What the fuck what?

Terrell: What the fuck, b?

Me: . . . Nigga, you not clarifying anything. . .
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Terrell: I got a female friend named Khaki.

Me:. . . Khaki? Like, the pants? Her parents named her Khaki?

Terrell: Yeah, like khaki pants. She like my best friend. She ugly.

Me: LOL

Terrell: For real.

Me: That wasn't nice.

Terrell: She look like a pair of khakis

Me: LMFAO
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Terrell: Yo, when I go see Nita Saturday, it's BONER SMASHING TIME!
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Me: Oh, she's gonna be at her aunt's house?

Terrell: Yeah

Me: Then you can put your cock on her face

Terrell: Early!
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Terrell: Oh My God, Khaki calling me.

Me: *snicker*

Both:LMAO
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Me: Ain't nobody tell you to talk to an ugly girl named Khaki. Where do you find these girls with weird ass names?

Terrell: What you mean, yo?

Me: It's like you have an odd-named female magnet or some shit
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(Intermission)
Hiilarious Twitter Quotes

Malcolm Maximillion: I like using pink towels after a shower. Its like being inside a woman to me.

$port: This beat makes me wanna throw a Timberland thru a windshield...
(Back to the matter)
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Terrell: You know ******* called me in this morning?

Me: Her buckethead ass? What does she want?

Terrell: I don't know, man. I'm about to do it to her again.

Me: LMAO

Terrell: What's so funny?

Me: That just came out of nowhere.

Terrell: She just acting like she miss the dilz.
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Me: What?

Terrell: What?

Me: What?

Terrell: Suck a fat one.

Me: Oh word? Well stick a quarter in ya ass, nigga, cuz you just played yaself!
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Me: What the hell are you singing?

Terrell: Streetlights

Me: I don't even fuck with that song. That shit isGETTHEFUCKOUTMYFACE, GNAT.
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Me: Yo, this Indian girl has some nice titties. It makes me wanna beat off.
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Terrell: Aaaawww. . .

Me: What, did you just ejaculate or some shit?

Terrell: I just bust a. . . bump.

Me: Ooooookay. . .

Terrell: On my thigh.

Me: Alrig-

Terrell: Near my meat.

Me: TOOOOO much information.
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Me: You know what, I'm glad you and Rodney found each other because you're both cocks.
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Terrell: He got that body & soul.

Me: What? He got that bottle of soul mix?

Terrell: OBAMA!

Me: *spits out mouthful of water*
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(Talking about a chick that used to be on my friend list and had twins)
Me: That might have been why I deleted her.

Terrell: Why?

Me: Remember when I cleansed my friends list and deleted a lot of preggers? I can't mess with no chicks with babies. I don't have any kids. What if I go over their house and their kids just sitting there? I ain't got no kids for them to play with.

Terrell: LOL

Me: Why are you laughing? What am I gonna do? Let them play with my PSP? Fuck that. They better suck each other's thumbs or some shit.
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Terrell: Did you ever wonder if pushing a baby out feels like pushing out a big ass fart?

Me: Yo. . . why would you ask some shit like that?
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Terrell: I bet the world's biggest fart felt real good.

Me: I'm pretty sure the world's biggest fart blew a man's ass open.
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Me: I should give Jasmine a dutch oven tomorrow.
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Me: You ever had a swag so off the hook you had to do the Harlem Shake?

Terrell: You a bluffing ass nigga.
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Me: What?

Terrell: You don't wanna wrestle on the dining room table.
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(Listening to Amazing by Kanye and Young Jeezy)
Me: This beat rocking. I need the instrumental so I can rap over it about sad lizards in the desert.
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Terrell: Laquecia just text messaged me.

Me: Don't you kids got school tomorrow?

Terrell: Nigga, shut up.
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(Waiting for "Spoiled Little L.A. Girl" on "Robocop")
Terrell: Here it come, Eric. . . Here it come, Eric. . . Here it come. . . Here it come. . .

Me: SHUT UP!
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Lil Wayne: You think yo shit don't stink but you are Mrs. P-U!

Me: That was corny. That was really corny.

Terrell: The "Mrs. P-U" line?

Me: Yeah, that shit made my face hurt.
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Me: Yo, tired.

Terrell: Who me?

Me: Yeah. You tired as shit.

Terrell: What, you wanna eat my pepperoni?
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*A Donald Duck is when you yank someone's nose and then slap it.

8 comments:

Paula said...

The preganancy butt fart thing was funny. Very revealing about guys tho; good to know; better than ignorance.

[$ H A R O N A] said...

ya'll need a tv show.

-$

Malcolm Maximillion said...

This shit had me dying laughing.

I was dead ass serious about the towel thing though

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

Its official, I'm not having any songs lol j/k

Gorgeous Lynette said...

after the pink towel thing, it just disturbed me! I can't even like use another again.

Super Woman said...

ok whats a dutch oven? and why do i feel sad for asking that?

and LMAO @ giving the kids the PSP to play with

my favorite line: "I can't mess with no chicks with babies. I don't have any kids. What if I go over their house and their kids just sitting there? I ain't got no kids for them to play with."


TWITTER: Heyyy who is supersport i just sometimes randomly talk to him because i like when he comes out of no where with them damn THIS IS 50.COM things and then he be like YO SON WHERE YOU BEEn and shit like that. LMAO

you guys are too funny

$port said...

'she look like a pair of khakis'..

that shit had my dying....it's just so stupid that you have to laugh lmao...

@ Super Woman: supersport = $port of Way More Fresher...i'm gonna tell your parents you talk to strangers on the internetz

Charlie Hilton said...

LOL. Crazy.

Question: are you looking to get on the mixtape?

Also, are you a graphics designer??