What me and my brother talk about on the phone. Pt. 2

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(After sending me a text message calling me a rapist)
Terrell: You're a dick.

Eric: Don't call me a rapist, cock monkey.
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Me: You better chill out before I Donald Duck* your dumb ass.

Terrell: Man, suck a fat one.
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(Talking about one of his homegirls who fell for the jailbait)
Me: I don't know what sign she is, but I know one of her traits are crib robbery.
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Terrell: I mean, what the fuck, b?

Me: What the fuck what?

Terrell: What the fuck, b?

Me: . . . Nigga, you not clarifying anything. . .
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Terrell: I got a female friend named Khaki.

Me:. . . Khaki? Like, the pants? Her parents named her Khaki?

Terrell: Yeah, like khaki pants. She like my best friend. She ugly.

Me: LOL

Terrell: For real.

Me: That wasn't nice.

Terrell: She look like a pair of khakis

Me: LMFAO
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Terrell: Yo, when I go see Nita Saturday, it's BONER SMASHING TIME!
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Me: Oh, she's gonna be at her aunt's house?

Terrell: Yeah

Me: Then you can put your cock on her face

Terrell: Early!
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Terrell: Oh My God, Khaki calling me.

Me: *snicker*

Both:LMAO
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Me: Ain't nobody tell you to talk to an ugly girl named Khaki. Where do you find these girls with weird ass names?

Terrell: What you mean, yo?

Me: It's like you have an odd-named female magnet or some shit
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(Intermission)
Hiilarious Twitter Quotes

Malcolm Maximillion: I like using pink towels after a shower. Its like being inside a woman to me.

$port: This beat makes me wanna throw a Timberland thru a windshield...
(Back to the matter)
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Terrell: You know ******* called me in this morning?

Me: Her buckethead ass? What does she want?

Terrell: I don't know, man. I'm about to do it to her again.

Me: LMAO

Terrell: What's so funny?

Me: That just came out of nowhere.

Terrell: She just acting like she miss the dilz.
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Me: What?

Terrell: What?

Me: What?

Terrell: Suck a fat one.

Me: Oh word? Well stick a quarter in ya ass, nigga, cuz you just played yaself!
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Me: What the hell are you singing?

Terrell: Streetlights

Me: I don't even fuck with that song. That shit isGETTHEFUCKOUTMYFACE, GNAT.
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Me: Yo, this Indian girl has some nice titties. It makes me wanna beat off.
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Terrell: Aaaawww. . .

Me: What, did you just ejaculate or some shit?

Terrell: I just bust a. . . bump.

Me: Ooooookay. . .

Terrell: On my thigh.

Me: Alrig-

Terrell: Near my meat.

Me: TOOOOO much information.
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Me: You know what, I'm glad you and Rodney found each other because you're both cocks.
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Terrell: He got that body & soul.

Me: What? He got that bottle of soul mix?

Terrell: OBAMA!

Me: *spits out mouthful of water*
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(Talking about a chick that used to be on my friend list and had twins)
Me: That might have been why I deleted her.

Terrell: Why?

Me: Remember when I cleansed my friends list and deleted a lot of preggers? I can't mess with no chicks with babies. I don't have any kids. What if I go over their house and their kids just sitting there? I ain't got no kids for them to play with.

Terrell: LOL

Me: Why are you laughing? What am I gonna do? Let them play with my PSP? Fuck that. They better suck each other's thumbs or some shit.
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Terrell: Did you ever wonder if pushing a baby out feels like pushing out a big ass fart?

Me: Yo. . . why would you ask some shit like that?
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Terrell: I bet the world's biggest fart felt real good.

Me: I'm pretty sure the world's biggest fart blew a man's ass open.
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Me: I should give Jasmine a dutch oven tomorrow.
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Me: You ever had a swag so off the hook you had to do the Harlem Shake?

Terrell: You a bluffing ass nigga.
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Me: What?

Terrell: You don't wanna wrestle on the dining room table.
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(Listening to Amazing by Kanye and Young Jeezy)
Me: This beat rocking. I need the instrumental so I can rap over it about sad lizards in the desert.
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Terrell: Laquecia just text messaged me.

Me: Don't you kids got school tomorrow?

Terrell: Nigga, shut up.
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(Waiting for "Spoiled Little L.A. Girl" on "Robocop")
Terrell: Here it come, Eric. . . Here it come, Eric. . . Here it come. . . Here it come. . .

Me: SHUT UP!
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Lil Wayne: You think yo shit don't stink but you are Mrs. P-U!

Me: That was corny. That was really corny.

Terrell: The "Mrs. P-U" line?

Me: Yeah, that shit made my face hurt.
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Me: Yo, tired.

Terrell: Who me?

Me: Yeah. You tired as shit.

Terrell: What, you wanna eat my pepperoni?
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*A Donald Duck is when you yank someone's nose and then slap it.