Thursday, February 26, 2009

Man vs. Food

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So, yesterday while I was reading the Digital Ape blog, I read a post by Ape James that linked to a website called This is Why You're Fat. It listed and pictured all kinds of food that would probably cause morbidly obese people to jizz their underwear.

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After looking at some of the foods James had posted, I suddenly remembered that I always wanted to try a Luther burger. If you've never heard of the Luther burger, it was made popular by an episode of the Boondocks where Grandpa Freeman got his own restaurant and sold the infamous burger. It is basically a bacon cheeseburger with the buns replaced by glazed donuts. I was delighted at the idea.


So, I proceeded to cook the bacon. . .

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Then the cheeseburger. . .

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and voila, the Luther burger!

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I began to chow down on the behemoth of saturated fat and enjoyed it's juicy, sweet, beefy flavor.

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Halfway through the trans fat titan I felt my heart crying. My arteries went into overload to prepare for the clogging that will take place soon. I began to wonder if making this 4-digit calorie monster was worth it. Once I finished my heart-stopping friend, I proceeded to succumb to the symptoms of. . . the itis.



5 minutes after finishing. . .

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10 minutes after finishing. . .

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12 minutes after finishing. . .

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35 minutes after finishing. . .

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As you can see, after removing the excess food from my digestive system, this unhealthy demon now has room to destroy my system and exit from my body another day.

I can feel my tits growing a full cup size as I type.

13 comments:

Super Woman said...

your moving to a B cup, sooner or later you'll be up there with me =)

Super Woman said...

Lol, Unlike You, I wasn't an Avid Gamer so i dont remember them. But being a girl in a male dominated setting i made it my business to tell (my grandma) if they didnt let me play the game.

And when i got the control i wanted to be allll the chicks on the game.

And i dont know how you managed to down that whole contraption you created

Frederick Lazarus said...

you actually ate the Luther???

Damn, I can only imagine how tired you were after that shit...

craazzyy

ape james said...

"all kinds of food that would probably cause morbidly obese people to jizz their underwear."...HILARIOUS

and damn, i can't believe you did it..haha, shit, you better drink lots of water and run 3 miles

Isaacs PR said...

(I found you on Charles Hamilton's blog)

But actually, that chef lady- Paula Deen- just made this exact burger on her show and DIDN'T give the Boondocks credit for it.

It kinda makes me wonder who originally came up with the idea for the burger.

- Zack from THE CHI

Gorgeous Lynette said...

gross! how could you eat that. the meats and the donuts? sweet meat? yucky.

Paula said...

BWAhahahahahahahaha! This is your funniest post ever. I wasn't going to comment (I really can't nowadays even though i keep up) this post is like the funniest i've come across in a long time. Reminds me of the things i used to do when i was so way smaller copying adverts and tv programmes. Fuck, that shit was fun. Loved this post. Especially the pics of '... minutes later' lol. Legend.

Paula said...

Man, my stomach just cramped from laughing. I still wanna try the Luther burger. No doubt.

Malcolm Maximillion said...

God, I need my internet back! Son, we need to head to 5 Guys and get the biggest burger with everything or that place in Hunt valley with the Giant Hamburgers that Frosty and I ate. Great shit though, no pun intended

Audrey Jazz said...

you should really stop lying to me and then posting incriminating evidence on your blog. THAT'S 5 SLICES OF BACON FAT-ASS!! you told me 3.

Tuesdai said...

Hey Rich!
This was funny lol, and made my stomach turn a bit....you're adorable Rich.

http://behindtheinspirations.com ---this is a website that me and another group of people are running.

Claudia said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha! Don't tell me you really ate that thing!
BTW you're nice in the first pic.

Rosie said...

OMG... Your Dumb!!! ... In a good way! LOL!