Sunday, January 4, 2009

I Just Flew in From My Bedroom and, Boy, Are My Arms Tired

I don't know. I can't sleep. I had a retarded. . . thing, I don't know, with my girlfriend a while ago that I'd rather not talk about because it's severely embarassing. It's not sex or anything, just something I'd rather keep to myself. I figured I'd just post random facts and other bullshit about myself.

- Last night, as in the night of January 3rd, I polished off a medium pizza, 6 golden honey bbq wings and a strawberry cheesecake all by myself in less than an hour. I don't feel guilty at all.

- My dream car is a Lamborghini Gallardo. They swallow gas like fuel sluts, but who gives a shit? It's my dream car.

- My favorite animal, which I just realized, like, last year, is the shark. Preferably a great white shark since they're the common face of sharks.

- I'm not one to get irritated easily, but if you find one of my buttons and push it, you'll find I'm an asshole. Extremely. Thanks to my short but difficult to find fuse, I can often make rash decisions and regret them later. *sigh*

- I make beats and rap, somewhat. Seriously, that was pointless. Who knows any black males that don't rap or make beats?

- I've decided, finally, that my lifetime fanship of an out-of-state football team would go to the Philadelphia Eagles. I liked them one season and they actually went all the way to the Super Bowl, but then they lost. This also happened with the Raiders, Rams and the Seahawks, so I just said "fuck it". But now, yeah, I think I'll go with the Eagles since they're the only team that lost the Super Bowl and didn't suck balls afterwards. Go Ravens.

- I like Totally Spies. If you don't know what that is, then don't bother me about it.

- I've know Malcolm Maximillion since 7th grade. Now that I look back on it, that's a long ass time. Mmm, 7th grade. Mmm, Kristian with the phat ass. I know somehow she's going to find my blog and see that. I'm not taking it back. Her ass is great.

- I can't think of my one favorite movie, but some of my favorites are All Dogs Go to Heaven, Akira, Sin City, Ninja Scroll and Kung Pow. I might remember more later.

- I find a way to curse profusely. Not on purpose, though. The more excited/angry I am, the more profanities per sentence I seem to manage. For example:

"What are you doing?"
"I'm fucking playing fucking Dead Space and this dammit-ass fucking monster won't stop fucking chasing me and shit."

I think I've actually said that once.

- Speaking of cursing, I tend to end stuff with "and shit" a lot when talking. "Happy Birthday and shit" "I'm in the house and shit" "I gotta pee and shit" "I wish you would stop talking and shit" "I fucking hate the Steelers and shit"

- Other words I use a lot:

Totally
Mollywhop
Shradunkel
Snatch(as in VUHgina)
Word?
Broad(s)

- I like breasts. I think I said that somewhere already.

- I don't like horror movies. I'm glad I got that out there. I do, however, love zombie movies.

- I have AIDS. An Incredible Dick Size! Ho! You can keep that. It's a keeper. Use that at parties. Unless there's someone there that actually has AIDS, then keep that to yourself. . . Like real AIDS.

- I love spicy foods, but I have acid reflux, so it's either spicy pleasure or a healthy esophagus. Maaaaaan, fuck my esophagus.

- I SHOULD BE SLEEP RIGHT NOW!

10 comments:

Gorgeous Lynette said...

I was just about to say that...and shit! you crack me up! tell me the embarassing thing.

Paula said...

Um... I used to watch Totally Spies when I had time for it. I didn't have a fave because I preferred the butler.

I also make my own beats. I'm not unique anymore black girl who makes beats *sigh* but mine are completely the shit.

Psshht about your AIDS comment. The proof is in the tasting (but please... I'm not offering... not to be rude; I just respect relationships when they are together)

Have a goof one.

I

Paula said...

And my fave car is a 1967 Ford Mustang GT500. That bitch will be mine someday.

And I swear like a fishermans wife all the time. I tried quitting once. Fuckload of good that did. Now I swear like I'm paranoid on weed.

Have a good one, (pls excuse spelling of before)

I

N.I.K.E. said...

Totally Spies? Word? My Grandmother Watches That Shit...And Shit.

I Also Have AIDS. The Good One Not The Other One. [You Know, The Deathly One]

[$ H A R O N A] said...

why are you so fuckin funny dude!

anyways... umm...why was a half million dollar car parked out side of sears?! i dont even shop at sears and i got a beat up as toyota.

Malcolm Maximillion said...

I'm stealing that AIDS shit.

Damn its really been 7 years?

E-Rich said...

We live in Hunt Valley and all of the rich people live out there. I'm used to seeing Benzs and BMWs all the time, but in the past 30 days I've seen a Maserati, a Bentley and a Lamborghini. That's the first time I've actually seen a Lamborghini. Well, outside of the dealership out Towson.

E-Rich said...

Well, I don't live in Hunt Valley. That's where the store I work at is. I live in Baltimore *sad face*.

Malcolm Maximillion said...

I live in Hunt Valley :) But I'm broke as shit and I'm moving back to the hood in Feb lol

Super Woman said...

It's not sex or anything, just something I'd rather keep to myself.



I Like how you pointed that out and let it be known

And ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN IS THE SHIT!!!

I Like alot of old Nickelodeon Movies Like Good Burger And Hariet The Spy (I think the movie was really called I Spy but when your young you rename shit like Family Matters was called Urkel In My House)

And Disney's Old Shit ....IDK Whatever ...