Monday, January 5, 2009

What Me and My Brother Talk About on the Phone: The Threequel

Terrell: Yo, you still ain't check my myspace

Me: Nigga. Nigga. Nigga. Nigga.
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Me: Oh, I forgot about her.

Terrell: Who's she?

Me: This girl I met at UMBC. She's hot and I wanted to try to beat.

Terrell: Oh, yeah.

Me: I'm gonna start hanging out with her, like "Hey! I have a cock!"
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Terrell: It's a couple of good movies that went straight to DVD.

Me: Like what?

Terrell: I don't know, bitch. I knew you was gonna ask me that.
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Me: I think I might have to doo-doo.

Terrell: What? Why?

Me: Because I ate food, nigga! Why else would I have to poop?

Terrell: You know what? I might have to doo-doo, too.
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(After asking Terrell what his new myspace password was)
Terrell: I had that new password for, like, two months.

Me: You know what I didn't have for, like, two months?

Terrell: I don't know.

Me: The internet, ass!
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Me: I say you delete that bitch.

Terrell: Why?

Me: You can't see any of her pictures. All she got is a default of some chick with her back to the camera walking towards the ocean. Fuck is she, a mermaid?
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Terrell: She said she was going to come into town and then let me know where she was, yo.

Me: Whole time she a bluffin muffin.
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Terrell: Tell her the oldest chick I dated was 20 years old. . .

Me: . . . and she was crazy like a fox.
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Terrell: She hot ain't she?

Me: I can't tell since ALL HER PICTURES OVERFUCKINGSATURATED! You mess with nothing but clowns.

Terrell: Don't say that yo, she's intelligent.

Me: She's an intelligent clown.

Terrell: Plus she thick.

Me: I'd be able to tell if HER ASS WASN'T BLENDING IN WITH THE FUCKING WALL!
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Me: She's like a buckethead hybrid.

Terrell: Don't say that, yo.

Me: Like a vampire. Like, you'll see a vampire and be like "Hey, he seems cool", but then you'll realize he can't come out in the sunlight or eat garlic sauce. Her buckethead traits pop out every now and then.
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Me: I'ma kick Shaquel in the butt. Wanna be acting like I don't exist and shit. Is that Gucci Mane? Ahhhhhhhhssssssssssseeewwwww.
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Me: We need to save these water bottles to save the environment. I wish Captain Planet was here to see me. . . so I can punch him in his lips.

Terrell: Yo funny.
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Me: Nownownow E-Rich is the one that be boning ya muvva. Bone ya muvva. Boneyaboneya muvva. STOP THE TRACK! LET ME STATE FACTS! I COME OVER YA HOUSE AND THEN BLOW OUT YA MUVVA BACK!
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Terrell: You know your feet stink when it gross you out.

Me: LMFAO
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Terrell: Now T-Jay is the one that be fucking ya mother. Not E-Rich.

Me: Man, suck a gravy stick.
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Me: When she get out, better pull her tits out and in two seconds they better end up in my mouth. Getting hornay! Yeah, I'm getting horny!

Terrell: You a dirty bitch.
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Terrell: Yo my feet reeking!
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Me: What, you been doing? Working in mines?

Terrell: Walking down Lexington Market.

Me: Yo was stepping over crackheads and shit.

Terrell: I went crackhead stomping today.
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(Terrell playing NCAA Football 08, trying to sack a quarterback)
Terrell: Somebody lace his ass. He look like Chris Brown.
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Me: You got like 19 females.

Terrell: No, I don't.

Me: You got 19 year old females.

Terrell: . . . So. You 19.

Me: What, you tryna say you got me?

Terrell: Yeah.

Me:(In a gay lisp) Boy, you better clean your feet first and come holla at me later.
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Terrell: For real, yo, they smell like boiling piss.
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Me: Yo, I wanna leg drop somebody.

Terrell: lol. What?

Me: One day you gonna meet me at a mall and I'm gonna walk up to you dressed like Macho Man Randy Savage.
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Terrell: YO BURNED ME!

Me: OBAMA!
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Me: You need to go wash your feet, b.

Terrell: Shut up.

Me: This is for your health. It smell like you been kicking dung beetles.

Terrell: *hic*I been kicking your mother.

Me: See? The smell gave you the hiccups.
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7 comments:

Gorgeous Lynette said...

lmfao!"you a dirty bitch" hilarity. & I like totally spies too. I'm mad they cancelled that show. Boiling piss? gross. I cringed when I read that. how did they get so disgusting?

AYO! stephie said...

CAPTAIN PLANET! You know they finna make a cpt. planet movie?!


"I can't tell since ALL HER PICTURES OVERFUCKINGSATURATED!"

Ugh, that shit annoys the mess outta me. I don't even be fuckin' with MySpace like THATTT no more, too many lames.

I think shit would be fun to just chill with you & your bro (:

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

"I don't know, bitch. I knew you was gonna ask me that"

LMAO!!!

Reggie said...

THIS WAS SOME WILD SHIT!!!!:)

Malcolm Maximillion said...

I swear I can hear ya'll voices in that shit.

[$ H A R O N A] said...

ya'll are so funny! "i can't tell her ass is blendin in with the wall..." lmfao

brandi said...

LMAO...too funny!