Your Rhymes are Called the Vagina Monologues

- That was an old Nas line. It was in a song where he was reading his old rap books. Can't remember the name.

- How the fuck did I get 52 followers? I went to sleep with like 36.

- I'm 16-1 at UFC Undisputed online. I'm going to be honest: 85 percent of the niggas I fought were terrible. The rest were half my power level. Bitches don't know about my ground and pound.

- Still getting ready for our baby shower. Jasmine would argue that I'm not doing anything. Well, she can suck a fat one.

- Yo, stop telling me get Charles Hamilton. I doubt dude even reads my blog, so chances are he isn't going to listen to shit I have to say. Besides, I don't even find it that bad that a broad crowned him. I find it bad he had a stuffed Pink Panther on his arm. WHERE DEY DO DAT AT!?

- I don't even know what that means.

- So much dumb shit happens at my job that I'm going to give that topic it's own post.

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- Meh, close enough.

- I had an interesting Friday. I went to a diner called Cafe Hon with the mother of my child. I had this sandwich called a Big Bay Club that was a crabcake, shrimp salad, bacon, lettuce and tomatoes. That shit was delicious. Orgasmic, even.

- We also saw a tranny on the bus. This wasn't your average tranny. I know when most people think of he-she's they think of Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo in To Wong Fu. This was not that. He had a man's face with woman hair. He had breasts. Not huge breasts, but breast enough to be feminine titties. Unfortunately, his pot belly stuck out beyond them. The guy had on a skirt. His legs were unshaven. They were reminscent of how your finger would look if you slid it under your couch and then looked at it. I did not see this because I did not bother to look hard enough, but Jasmine claimed that she could see his dick through his skirt.

- I'm sorry. . . I'm feeling nauseous.

- I also got good footage of a junkie doing the infamous "Lexington Market Lean" on my cell phone. She was dropping down and getting her eagle on.

- Shendiggity, me and Malcolm have to show you Lexington Market.

- I'm reading this thing about Hons on wikipedia. What the fuck is wrong with pronouncing "Baltimore" "Baldimore"? That shit is way too proper.

- When my mom says "fired" she says "farred".

- She's going to tell me to take that off.

- This is my blog!



- You know what pisses me off? Megahomophobic rappers. Like, that's not even the whole problem. Let me get to the point:

- How the fuck do you talk about rappers being undercover fags and talk about Kanye and Charles Hamilton but not mention the Knux?

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- Nigga on the right. He looks mad Luther Vandross.

- I've usually been one to oppose the term "dress gay" because there are such things as homo thugs, but those niggas really dress like they pound butt.

- You "Noah's Arc" watching ass niggas.

- My mom loves that show.

- Advice Dog says: