Tears for Sears

- A lady came in last week. Old girl had a layaway. So, we're looking for the layaway and it turns out we can't find it. The lady asks and I tell her "We're having trouble finding it, but we'll have your merchandise in a matter of minutes". So, the lady replies "I'm in a hurry! I have a relative dying of cancer that I have to take to a doctor's appointment at 9:30!" It's 9:18 AM. Now, I would've felt bad, but why the fuck are you picking up a raincoat from Sears if your family member's doctor's appointment is so important? Long story short, she got mad and left and we found her raincoat 2 minutes after she caught wheels.

- This couple, the Goldstroms, comes in. They want to pick up an assembled grill. At this point, we've had forty billion pick-ups for assembled grills. The male says "We don't know if it's here for sure, but we just wanted to check." I look in the back at the grills waiting for customer pick-up and none of them say Goldstrom. I go back out and tell these people "Sorry, we don't see your grill. It may not have come in yet." The male says "Okay" and walks into the store. (From MPU((Merchandise Pick-Up)), you can go directly into the Sears through a hallway) I'm chilling, thinking nothing of it, when Kevin comes to MPU looking perturbed. Now, Kevin is one of the managers for Tools. People get me and him confused a lot being that we're both short, black and stocky.

Well, he's all like "So Goldstrom told me you said that their grill wasn't in." I reply "I didn't see a Goldstrom." He then proceeds to explain how I could have gotten a pre-assembled grill of the same item number. At this fucking point, I didn't want to deal with one more motherfucking retard customer who came to pick up a big, stupid ass grill in a goddamn, ugly ass SUV. It wouldn't fit. So, I end up having to give them a grill anyway and lo and behold, I had to help the motherfucker unscrew a piece of so it would fit in his dipshit, ass-licking SUV.

- Some asshole comes in to pick up an assembled grill. Whatever. We bring him his grill and this douchebag is examining it and notices that the grill is fucked up.

It's not.

There was an area of scratched off paint about the size of a thumbnail in the corner where the grill closes down. Now, see, this area would end up getting scratched anyway due to opening and closing the fucking grill. He's also pissed because the door on the bottom only closes 98.4 percent of the FUCKING way. So, he asks, "do you have any other grills?" I say "I think we have one more". I go in the back to grab this nigga another grill and our LP(Loss Prevention) guy walks him in the back to the room with all the grills. I'm not going to put any vulgar expletives in front of his name because he apologized for it afterwards.

Long story short, the asshole looked at every grill and then decided that he didn't want a grill and returned it.

- Remember Perry? Yeah, me too. Well, let me get this one out of the way first. Now, a co-worker told me that she saw Perry downtown with . . . Jim(he's notoriously gay if you didn't read the post I linked to). She said they were hugged up on the lightrail. Not cool.

- Well, when Perry got fired, he ended up wrestling with the cop that was escorting him out. This nigga called me like two or three weeks ago leaving a voicemail asking if I could be a witness for him in court. Yo, I wasn't even there.

- Know what I hate about Sears customers right now? These motherfuckers will scan the receipt to pick-up their items and then leave immediately to get their cars. I come out ten seconds later and no one is there. That shit is getting on my nerves. The fucking machine says "Please bring your vehicle to pick-up before scanning your receipt for a quicker transaction". How hard is that?