Saturday, October 4, 2008

Hey, Keith Mullin and Biosilo foods? Fuck you.

So, some asshole decided to make "food" for gamers? I'm o-goddamn-ffended. As corny as the term gamer sounds, I'll accept it as an adjective that would describe my love for video games and anything to do with them. Shit like this, though, is what makes being a gamer seem like we're looked at as toddlers. Enough ranting, let's see what the fuck they're talking about

"Gamer Grub will be available in four flavors considered to be popular with gamers ("Strategy Chocolate," "Action Pizza," "Racing Wasabi," and "Sports PB&J" (that's peanut buter and jelly to the uninitiated), but two features will set this snack apart from the chips, pizza, popcorn, and similar snacks foods on which gamers are known to subsist: a proprietary mix of vitamins and other supplements, and a unique "delivery system" that will enable one to consume the product in the midst of gaming without leaving one's fingers, keyboard, and mouse slick with grease."

Bitch, we have something called a "paper towel" that could keep us from getting our fingers slick with grease. And WTF is up with naming the flavors after video game genres? How many gamers do you know that actually play sports games that much? Here's a hint: They don't exist. All of those rappers that say "Yeah, I play games. I be playing Madden all day in the crib". Those niggas aren't gamers.

". . .(Keith)Mullin, a sometime gamer himself. . ."

Sometime gamer? So does that mean he has the ability to know what gamers eat? What the hell does this shit even look like, anyway?

So, in conclusion, I feel that Gabe and Tycho of Penny Arcade summed it up best in three panels.

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